All Our Hopes and Dreams for Zoolander 2
Zoolander 2 is truly happening, and we have never felt as really, really, ridiculously lucky as we do now.
After the first official trailer for the sequel to the goofy buddy comedy starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson as out-of-touch models Derek Zoolander and Hansel was released on Wednesday, we couldn’t help but fantasize about the actual thing, which will be “11 million times longer,” Zoolander promised on Instagram.
We have a few hopes and dreams for the sequel, based on the star-studded trailer. (We see you, Benedict Cumberbatch.) Here’s what we’re crossing our fingers for:
1. Zoolander does more degrading commercials.
We will never not think of “Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty” when we hear the word “moisture,” per Zoolander’s humiliating merman commercial.
2. Two words: Walk. Off.
The only respectable way for two models to settle a pressing matter is by engaging in a high-stakes walk-off.
We hope there is (at least one) walk-off.
3. Justin Bieber’s cameo is longer than the three seconds from the trailer.
Now that we think about it, there should be a Zoolander 2 spin-off starring Justin Bieber.
I mean look at that face. Who wouldn’t want to green-light his first feature film?
4. This is Kyle Mooney’s breakout role.
The Saturday Night Live cast member is hilarious, and now it’s time for him to secure his place in the comedy canon, à la Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids.
5. Justin Theroux has a cameo.
The Leftovers actor and #blessed husband of Jennifer Aniston wrote the movie, so we can’t help but hope to see his disturbingly symmetrical face among one of the sure-to-be-thousands of cameos.
After all, he already has a proven record of serving up top-notch Blue Steel.
6. Benedict Cumberbatch pulls off the character All – an eccentric gender-fluid model.
For perhaps the first time ever, Cumberbatch is not typecast as a bumbling, hyper-intellectual Brit. We hope he makes it work.