Sorry, men of the world. Sometimes your version of "nice" is a woman's version of "creepy."
Sorry, men of the world. Sometimes your version of “nice” is a woman’s version of “creepy.”
Nineteen women took to Reddit to share all the “nice” things guys do that actually really creep them out.
1. “Showing up at my place of work and staring at me, trying to make small talk while I’m trying to work … then asking about me when I’m not there to figure out my schedule.”
2. “I don’t know any girls that actually like the ‘I was/could be with all these other girls, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you’ line.”
3. “Telling you how perfect and amazing you are excessively after you just met.”
4. “When a guy comes into your workplace when you work in the service industry and acts like he’s the only customer that exists.”
5. “I went on a date last week with a guy who kept telling me he had a gun license (in Australia this isn’t something most people have). He insisted that made him the safest guy in Australia. I suppose he was trying to make me feel comfortable, and if he had said it once it might have been a little weird and not creepy, but he said it multiple times. It felt like he was trying to get me to let my guard down.”
6. “A stranger I just met offered to walk me home because ‘it’s not safe to walk home alone.’ There’s no nice way to say, ‘But, you could be a rapist. Plus, now I know you know I’m walking home alone and you could follow me.'”
7. “I had a guy on a first date who just started massaging my back. He was doing it too hard and rough and it hurt a ton. So I asked him to either stop or lighten the pressure, and he got offended because he was only trying to be nice.”
8. “This one guy sent me a video of him doing kinky stuff with other people — he thought it would be a turn-on for me and make me want him. I thought it was a weird thing to do, especially because he and I had just met and were not dating.”
9. “Following me to my car/house/next class when I say I’m fine. You may think it’s protective of me, but I said no and YOU might actually be what I’m trying to get away from.”
10. “Calling me after sending me a rapid fire of texts that I don’t answer. I don’t know if this qualifies as nice but twice I’ve been at work with my phone away and when I’ve come back, there’s a slew of texts asking where I am/what am I doing/am I okay, followed by a phone call. I’m working! Chill out.”
11. “Forced hugs by coworkers are the absolute worst. It’s happened to me with three separate coworkers, all male. Please tell me what signals I’m giving off that makes you think it’s acceptable to grab me up in your arms.”
12. “I work part-time at a restaurant that’s huge for delivery orders. The amount of guys who ask me out over the phone is extremely uncomfortable. I’m not flirting. I’m just being polite and trying to get your order. Guys will frequently say stuff like, ‘I’m sorry but you just have a sexy/pretty voice and I wanted to let you know.’ It’s inappropriate and so unnecessary.”
13. “Getting honked at/stopping your car to talk to me while I’m out running. Also telling me I’m ‘too pretty to have a boyfriend’ when I’m out with friends. What the hell does that even mean?”
14. “Sending you multiple messages on Facebook over a span of time saying ‘hey’ ‘hey’ ‘hi’ ‘what’s up’ ‘you’re beautiful’ ‘hey’ ‘hello’ ‘what’s up’ and going on for months when you haven’t replied to him a single time, ever.”
15. “Repeatedly insisting on helping us with something, like carrying our stuff or whatever, when we’ve already said, ‘No, thank you.’ It’s patronizing and also feels like an attempt to make us feel indebted.”
16. “Randomly adding me on Facebook and trying to ‘develop a friendship, maybe more,’ and then not getting the hint that I prefer making friends outside of Facebook while continuing to text me. Honestly, it is not cool or modern. I find it rather disturbing when I receive random friend requests from people I haven’t even one common friend with.”
17. “Catcalling. I don’t care if think you’re complimenting me. If you really cared about complimenting me, you would approach me like a normal person and say something, not yell about how long my legs are from across the street.”
18. “When someone speaks romantically about you when you aren’t even dating.”
19. “Telling me to smile when I have a straight face or when I’m frowning. A much older conservative gentleman acquaintance informed me that I wouldn’t be able to attract all the boys if I didn’t smile. I informed him I wasn’t trying to attract the boys. He didn’t talk to me after that. Mission accomplished.”
All posts have been edited from Reddit for length and clarity.