A bucket list for pizza, if you will

By Diana Pearl
April 26, 2016 06:00 PM
Kevin Winter/Getty

Because it’s always time for pizza, no matter where you are.

Truth: Ever IRL attendees get tired at the Oscars. And the best way to perk them up? With a little bit of pizza, of course! While hosting the 2014 Oscars, Ellen DeGeneres ordered three pizzas to dole out to some lucky audience members. Lucky recipients included Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Jared Leto, Harrison Ford and Martin Scorsese. And we bet the attendees of the 2015 Oscars were pretty disappointed host Neil Patrick Harris didn’t maintain the tradition.

Long train rides can be a (literal) drag. This man decided to make it go by a bit faster with a pizza delivery. He took a look at the train schedule, planned his timing, called the local Domino’s and, in a stroke of sheer luck of timing, had his pizza waiting for him when he train pulled in. And of course, in true 2016 fashion, he live-tweeted the whole thing.

Craving a tropical vacation, but concerned about getting your pizza fix in between sunning and swimming? Worry no more: A Dominos at the St. Maarten Airport teamed up with airline Winair to bring pizza to locals and visitors on neighboring islands. The pizzas will be sent on prescheduled flights, too, which means that passengers will get a cheesy-tomato aroma instead of stale plane air throughout their flight. Sounds like a win for everyone.

Pizza is a staple at any sort of outdoor food-eating gatherings – but taking the outdoors indoors is a little less common. This delivery man shared the story on Reddit that will set your mind aflame. “I was delivering pizza to someone who lived in a more rural area,” he wrote. “When I got there, I noticed a kind of smokey smell but thought nothing of it, maybe it was the pizza (though I didn’t think it was). So I roll up to the house, the guy answers his door and I hand him his pizza. That’s when I notice that there’s a bonfire in his living room. I think there must’ve been a large hole in his roof over the living room, because smoke wasn’t pouring throughout the house. But I shit you not, this guy was just having a total burnout, burning books and wood and other stuff. I sort of just stood there gob-smacked. I had no idea what to say, so I just took his money and left.”

Not even the worst of snowstorms can keep hungry people from their pizza. A former delivery man shared this story on Reddit of a man who delivered in the biggest city in Vermont. “On really bad snowstorm I had to go out to bumf k and deliver a pizza. I had to stop about a mile out because a tractor trailer had tipped and was blocking the road. I called the guy and told him what was up, he paused and said ‘I’ll be there in 5 minutes.’ Sure enough, 5 minutes later a very very drunk guy on a snow mobile pulled up and gave me a 100% tip.”

The best way to make a flight delivery less painful? Add some pizza. After a flight from D.C. to Denver was diverted to Wyoming, the pilot thought an order of Domino’s would perk up his disgruntled passengers. He called in for 35 pizzas, much to their delight. If only every two hour flight delay resulted in a hot and fresh pizza.

A love for pizza is strong – so strong, it’s beyond our world. In 2001, Pizza Hut became the first company to ever deliver to outer spacer, sending a heavily salted and spiced (in order to last throughout the journey) to the International Space Station. Pizza Hut had to use salami instead of pepperoni, as the latter wouldn’t last throughout the trip. And while you’d be smart to worry about the state of the cheese and the bread, after eating space food for months, we can imagine any astronaut would jump at a slice, no matter its condition.

For men and women in uniform, no amount of pizzas is enough to say thanks. But Pizza 4 Patriots tried their best back in 2012 when they sent 30,000 pizzas to Kandahar Airfield, Bagram Airbase and Camp Bastion, Afghanistan so the service members could have a taste of home while celebrating the 4th of July.