Your Weekly Horoscope: You'll Laugh, You'll Cry, You'll Bring Sexy Back
Mercury in retrograde won't kill the party – just don t invite that random Facebook friend
Gemini (May 21 Jun. 21)
Mercury has backed that thing up into your sign, crashing your Gemini celebration just as everyone started singing, “Happy Birthday.” Don’t let the retrograde planet bring the party down – simply being aware will help you gracefully react to mixups and crossed signals.
Cancer (Jun. 22 Jul. 22)
A certain acquaintance, Facebook friend, or Twitter follower that you haven’t seen in ages (or maybe have never even met in person) is keen on hooking up. With Mercury retrograde in your twelfth house, caution is the word of the week. Ulterior motives much?
Leo (Jul. 23 Aug. 22)
You have the attention span of a gnat and if you hear how happy Pharrell is one more time, you’re afraid you might find and smack him. You’re on edge, Leo. Do everyone a favor and work some long walks and yoga classes into your week.
Virgo (Aug. 23 Sep. 22)
Don t have a PR rep? Hire one, Virgo. With Mercury rolling retrograde into your public image zone, if you were caught on tape saying something stupid like Justin Bieber or acting as a dancing hamster while on workers’ comp (wait, what?), you may need to do some damage control.
Libra (Sep. 23 Oct. 23)
You’re not the type to rock the boat for no reason, Libra. If you’re feeling the urge to set somebody straight, take a deep breath and ask yourself if your opinion is even wanted in the first place. While Mercury is retrograde, it’s sometimes best to bite your tongue.
Scorpio (Oct. 24 Nov. 21)
The sun is in your va-va-voom zone this week, and as the zodiac’s resident sexpot,it’s your duty to bring sexy back. Let your sultry side show like Jessica Chastain with her new Brigitte Bardot bangs, but don’t go too crazy. (Tip: Leggings aren’t pants.)
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 Dec. 21)
As a steady Archer, you’re not the overemotional type. This week, Mercury retrograde will cause so much mischief, you won’t know whether to laugh or cry. The best solution is to do both with a double feature of 22 Jump Street and The Fault in Our Stars.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 Jan. 19)
You’ve been commendably committed to your healthy lifestyle for the past week, Capricorn. (Weekend BBQs don’t count, right?) Don’t let your busy schedule derail you now! If you “don’t have time” to exercise or meditate, it’s the perfect time to do so.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 Feb. 18)
Been reminiscing over lost loves or friendships gone cold? That’s Mercury retrograde playing emo-violin in your intimacy zone. Reconnecting with soulmates is easier than you think – just ask Michelle Williams, who’s bringing Destiny’s Child back for a new song.
Pisces (Feb. 19 Mar. 20)
Plant those pink flamingos in the backyard, Pisces, and grab some ice for the cooler. Gather the friendly faces you don’t surround yourself with as often as you should. You’ll see what the universe already knows – your compassion and connections are strong.
Aries (Mar. 21 Apr. 19)
You spoke your mind last week, and – thanks to Mercury retrograde – you’re still dealing with the ramifications. Surprisingly, it’s not the worst thing in the world. Putting your true feelings out there feels freeing, even if there’s blowback. (Unless your last name is Sterling.)
Taurus (Apr. 20 May 20)
Now that Mercury – still retrograde – is moving to your second house, you might hit a super-busy patch at work. Extra hours cutting into your beach time might be annoying now, but your dedication will set you up for a bonus later.
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