Illustration By Debra Cartwright
April 07, 2014 06:00 AM

Aries (Mar. 21 Apr. 19)

All work and no play makes one dull Aries, but slacking at the office will put you in your boss’s line of fire. While Jupiter in your home zone and Pluto in your work zone are astrologically feuding, sneak off and plan an epic birthday night with friends.

Taurus (Apr. 20 May 20)

Venus has packed her frilliest Victoria’s Secret Angel-wear and moved into laid-back Pisces, which means one of two things: You’ll have a no-strings fling that lasts only as long as the cherry blossoms, or you’ll notice a new spark in someone you’ve taken for granted.

Gemini (May 21 Jun. 21)

One is too lonely a number for you this week, Gemini. The sun is in your collaborative eleventh house, so gather your troops to kick off a fun project close to your heart : a charity gala, school bake sale, all-Frozen karaoke.

Cancer (Jun. 22 Jul. 22)

You’ve got your mind on your money and your money on your mind, but cold, hard cash isn’t the only way to work towards the security Cancers crave. A well-made plan or new gig (congratulations on The Voice, Pharrell!) also does the trick.

Leo (Jul. 23 Aug. 22)

You may not want a serious relationship right now. Or any relationship. Actually, you might not even feel ready to care for a houseplant. But with Venus in Pisces, your house of deep intimacy, the cosmos have other plans for you.

Virgo (Aug. 23 Sep. 22)

It seems like your coworkers have been reading How to Lose Friends and Annoy People, but frankly, they’re not the problem. Your discomfort may be a sign that your innate values don’t line up with the office culture. Could it be time to take Cee Lo’s lead and say goodbye?

Libra (Sep. 23 Oct. 23)

Mars is in retrograde in your me-me-me sector, so any plans for branching out on your own should be postponed until late May. (Remember Gene Simmons’s doomed solo album? No? Precisely.) But go ahead and take that selfie.

Scorpio (Oct. 24 Nov. 21)

Sorry Scorpio, but your systems are a mess. If you’re pretty sure that the important government form you need to mail is somewhere in that pile over there, or over in that other one, or maybe in the fridge, it’s time to get organized.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 Dec. 21)

Jupiter will oppose Pluto in Capricorn in your money sector, so cash could be tight for a while. Finding balance may be as easy as swapping your daily latte for brewed coffee or selling one of your Fabergé eggs (a.k.a. the Johnny Weir plan).

Capricorn (Dec. 22 Jan. 19)

Though you may feel motivated on the career front, now isn’t a good time to test your groundbreaking ideas at the office. They won’t be well received this week. Instead, with Venus in Pisces, use your ingenuity to woo the one you’ve had your eye on.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 Feb. 18)

Your week has more hidden agendas and underlying motives than an episode of Game of Thrones. Not to mix TV tropes, but use your Sherlock Holmes powers of deduction to figure out what these schemers are trying to gain.

Pisces (Feb. 19 Mar. 20)

Mars is in retrograde and getting ready to morph, Transformer-style, into a Grand Cardinal Cross with Uranus, Pluto, and Jupiter. Needless to say, you can expect a challenging end of the month. Make it easier on yourself by getting your affairs in order now.

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