Yes, he tries on the supermodels' hair extensions

Well, here’s a sentence I never expected to write: I’m flying to London to attend the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. And I’m flying with the models. And we’re flying private. As I pull up to the airport, my cabbie turns to me and says, “You are a lucky man.” If I had a nickel for every time a guy has said that to me when I tell him about this trip, I could afford to buy both $2 million Fantasy Bras.

I walk to the tarmac toward our 767, surrounded by supermodels and feeling a bit like the outlier in those “One of these things just doesn’t belong” games. It’s pretty obvious who among us is a model – they’re so much taller than everyone else that it’s like they’re walking on stilts. Plus, they all have hair like a waterfall of silk. Yes, I just said “a waterfall of silk,” what of it?

If you’ve never flown private, let me give you an idea of what this is like. It’s a whole plane of first class. And in this first class, you don’t get a scratchy blue blanket; you get a fuzzy pink blanket. Pink is not really my color, but I am more than comfortable enough with my masculinity to drape myself in said fuzzy pink blanket.

I decide I can’t play it safe under my fuzzy blanket the whole flight, so cast off the blanky and approach Lily Aldridge to ask to take a photo. She happily agrees (after repositioning me so she’s in the best light) then tells me it was a "bummer" to have to skip pie at Thanksgiving last week. I nod like I can relate. (I can not relate.)

After my photo shoot with Lily (yes, I’m counting one photo as a photo shoot), I head over to Karlie Kloss. My inner journalist kicks in and I try to get scoop on the show, like if she’s choreographed anything special with her best friend Taylor Swift, who’s performing on the catwalk. But Karlie won’t spill.

Meanwhile, Lily is busy getting her extensions. Which, apparently, is a two-person job.

After observing Lily get her hair done, I decide extensions make everyone look hotter so I try some on myself. Update: Extensions do not make everyone look hotter.

More hair extensions. What can I say, I’m intrigued. (Candice Swanepoel will be wearing these blonde ones.)

I can safely say I’ve never seen a bra this expensive. These Fantasy Bras are made with rubies, sapphires and diamonds, I’m told, and like I said, they’re valued at $2 million each. Next time I see these, they’ll be draped on Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrésio at the show.