This is dedicated to all the Steve Buscemis of the world

By Kelli Bender
February 13, 2014 02:15 PM
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Credit: Eric Charbonneau/AP; Chris Pizzello/AP

What celebrity would be your dream date on Valentine’s Day? Brad Pitt? Channing Tatum? Typical!

When it comes to picking a main squeeze from the ranks of Hollywood’s hottest men, I prefer some of the more unconventional choices.

Sure, Ryan Gosling and Chris Hemsworth have smoldering six packs and handsome faces, but they lack the depth and unusual charisma of my carefully chosen paramours below. These actors light up the screen with riskier, grittier roles and capture hearts not with muscle, but with mysterious allure.

Happy Valentine’s Day to my harem of overlooked hunks. This list is all about celebrating your special je ne sais quoi.

Adrien Brody

I’d let King Kong carry me anywhere – if it meant you’d rescue me.

Adam Driver

Girls

gives you a questionable rep, but you’re just my kind of bad boy.

Crispin Glover

Aw rats, Willard! I’m smitten.

Steve Buscemi

When ruling over Boardwalk Empire gets old, you can reign over my heart instead.

Vincent Kartheiser

This mad man = one happy gal.

Benedict Cumberbatch

People say you look like an otter, and that’s just adorable.

Jay Baruchel

You’ve trained a dragon, but can you harness my love?

Michael Shannon

There is no Superman, only Zod!

Louis C.K.

Funny man? Check! Family man? Check! Looks like everything checks out with you.

Sean Penn

Aloha, Charlize. And sorry, ’cause I loved Spicoli first.

Christopher Walken

You’re my everything of choice.

Luis Guzmén

If you were mine, Every night would be a Boogie Night.

Willem Dafoe

I had a dream you were my boyfriend once. Best. Dream. Ever.

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