Tom Cruise Gets Comedic Revenge on Matt Lauer at Roast
The actor draws roars of laughter at the Friars event, calling the Today host a "glib putz"
Showing there were no hard feelings – well, maybe a few – Tom Cruise skewered his one-time Today show adversary Matt Lauer with one-liners in a surprise appearance Friday at a Friars Club roast.
“Believe it or not, Matt and I are friends. Some of you may find that hard to believe,” said the actor, who famously scolded Lauer on-air and called him “glib” during a discussion of psychiatry and post-partum depression during a now-notorious 2005 interview.
The roasts specialize in dirty humor that poke fun at their honorees. Cruise had a field day at Lauer’s expense.
“When they do ‘Where in the World is Matt Lauer,’ I’m the one person in the world who knows where he is,” said Cruise, who showed humorously doctored slides of the two of them at a backyard barbecue together, wading in a swimming pool and cuddling on a jet-ski.
“We go on vacation together,” claimed Cruise, who also said they speak on the phone “sometimes four times a day” and watch TV together “for hours.” Cruise also credited Lauer with advising him not to talk about his movie War of the Worlds when he appeared on Oprah Winfrey‘s show (on which he jumped on Winfrey’s sofa), but to talk about his then-new girlfriend, Katie Holmes.
“He said, ‘Tom, Tom, don’t be glib, You’re in love.’ ” Talk about Holmes, Lauer suggested. “Be inspiring People will love you for it,” Cruise quoted Lauer as saying.
The actor also credited Lauer with advising O.J. Simpson to go into a Las Vegas hotel room and reclaim his sports memorabilia, and with advising Katie Couric to leave Today for the CBS Evening News.
“Lose my number, you glib putz,” Cruise joked to Lauer.
When Cruise left the luncheon immediately after his remarks, Lauer shouted after him, “Tom, can you stay? We can get [you] a booster seat.”
Al Roker, who emceed the roast, also took a shot. “Tom can’t stay,” Roker said, after Cruise exited the stage. “His spaceship has to leave tonight.”
Others who raked Lauer over the coals included Couric and Meredith Vieira, as well Richard Belzer, Martha Stewart, Bob Saget and others.
Once the roast had finished, Lauer had his chance to get even with those who took potshots at him.
“I guess this means we’ve officially buried the hatchet,” he said of Cruise. “But if he pulls that f—— s— again I will drop a building on this guy.”