They Said What!: The Wackiest Quotes from the 2010 VMAs

"Wake up Handler! You're a mess. Do you think anyone wants to work with a drunk? Take it from me. They don't."
– Recently rehabbed Lindsay Lohan, handing host Chelsea Handler some advice during the show's opening skit

"So so far I'm the oldest chick with the biggest hair and the littlest costume."
– Cher, 64, after taking the stage in her iconic "If I Could Turn Back Time" bodysuit 21 years after she debuted it

"I never thought I'd be asking Cher to hold my meat purse."
– Lady Gaga, during her acceptance speech for winning video of the year for "Bad Romance"

"Maybe we'll bite someone. You bark. I'll bite."
– True Blood vamp Evan Rachel Wood to costar and co-presenter Joe Manganiello, on what VMAs surprise may lay in store for them

"I'm a huge fan of seamen, thank you."
– Jackass star Johnny Knoxville, after being complimented on his nautical attire on the MTV white carpet

"Have fun tonight. He's stiff."

– Katy Perry, on handing Eminem's Moonman for best male video to single star Nicki Minaj

"It's okay, life is a tough crowd. 32 is still growing up now."
– Taylor Swift, taking aim at Kanye West while performing an untitled track from her new album

"Let's have a toast for the douchebags."
– Kanye West, getting in the last word while performing his unreleased track, "Runaway," during the show's closing performance