With Taylor Swift newly single after her recent split from Calvin Harris, we can only think of one person who has the right words to say right now – herself. The singer has inspired fans to come out stronger after a breakup, so let’s look back on her most insightful words and pieces of advice on the topic.
• “It’s all right – I’m cool. You know what, it’s like, when I find that person that is right for me, he’ll be wonderful. When I look at that person, I’m not even going to remember the boy who broke up with me over the phone in 27 seconds when I was 18.”
– to Ellen DeGeneres in 2008
• “To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears, fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. Fearless is walking into your freshman year of high school at 15. Fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again … even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s fearless to have faith that someday things will change.
Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even though can’t breathe without them. I think it’s fearless to fall for your best friend, even though he’s in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s fearless to stop believing them. It’s fearless to say ‘you’re NOT sorry.’
I think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting go is fearless. Then, moving on and being all right … That’s fearless, too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That’s why I write these songs. Because I think love is fearless.”
– on the liner notes on her Fearless album in 2008
• “All you can do is be honest and real with him as you get to know each other. Deciding not to play games is the best way to go because it keeps things simple: If he messes it up by playing around with your heart, you’ll know he doesn’t deserve you.”
– to Seventeen in 2012
• “I can’t deal with someone wanting to take a relationship backward or needing space or cheating on you. It’s a conscious thing: It’s a common sense thing … I just don’t ever want to end up in a relationship that isn’t fair ever again.”
– to Cosmopolitan in 2012
• “I think when you’re heartbroken, you need music more than when you’re not. There’s something so beautiful about people who are heartbroken. They think about how they’re feeling much more. I think when you’re happy and you’re in love, you don’t need to think about it, it’s just there. Love is one of those things that’s so simple, you don’t need to think about it when’s good. You only need to think about it when it’s bad.
So when music is all that you have, and you’re lonely and you’re missing someone or you’re trying to forget someone, and you write a song that says exactly how you feel, there’s sort of a gratification you get from that that almost helps you move on.”
– to Coffee Break in 2013
• “I have no idea if I’m going to get married or be single forever or have a family or just be on my own. You know, paint in a cottage by the ocean by myself. I just have no idea, and I’m kind of into that. You can make a board for all the goals you want in your life with the pictures on it, and that’s great, daydreaming is wonderful, but you can never plan your future.”
– to Wonderland in 2013
• “Guarding your heart and protecting your dignity are a little bit more important than clarifying the emotions of someone who’s only texting you back three words. I’ve learned that from trying to figure out people who don’t deserve to be figured out.”
– to Glamour in 2014
• “I think we grow up thinking the only love that counts as true love is the kind that lasts forever or is fully realized. When you have a broken heart, the first thing a stranger will ask is ‘how long were you two together?’ As if your pain can be determined by how long you were with someone. Or if you were with them at all. I don’t think that’s how it works.
I think unrequited love is just as valid as any other kind. It’s just as crushing and just as thrilling. No matter what happens in this situation, I want you to remember that what you are doing is selfless and beautiful and kind. You are loving someone purely because you love them, not because you think you’ll ever have your affections reciprocated. You are admiring something for its beauty, without needing to own it. Feel good about being the kind of person who loves selflessly. I think someday you’ll find someone who loves you in that exact same way.”
– to a fan on Instagram in 2014
• “I swore I would never ever get in another relationship if it meant changing who I was, or taking me out of that mode where my friends are everything to me.”
– to Vanity Fair in 2015
• “Never ever become someone else for the sake of a relationship.”
– to Vanity Fair in 2015
• “If you’re a people pleaser, like most of us are, you try to adapt to what signals that person is giving off. It’s not about changing the fact that you’re a people pleaser; it’s about finding someone [to date] who is not critical. That can be the most painful thing, trying to love someone who is critical in their nature.”
– to Vanity Fair in 2015
• “It’s so devastating to come to terms with speaking of someone in past tense when you used to see them as your present and your future. But think about what he said. It will take a while for you to get those words out of your head.
Heartbreak is awful enough … There is nothing wrong with avoiding people who hurt you. You fell in love, no games. Now you’re saying goodbye with no games. Protect yourself, please. I’m so sorry this happened.”
– to a fan on Tumblr in 2015
• “‘Clean’ I wrote as I was walking out of Liberty in London. Someone I used to date – it hit me that I’d been in the same city as him for two weeks, and I hadn’t thought about it. When it did hit me, it was like, ‘Oh, I hope he’s doing well.’ And nothing else.
And you know how it is when you’re going through heartbreak. A heartbroken person is unlike any other person. Their time moves at a completely different pace than ours. It’s this mental, physical, emotional ache and feeling so conflicted. Nothing distracts you from it. Then time passes, and the more you live your life and create new habits, you get used to not having a text message every morning saying, ‘Hello, beautiful. Good morning.’
You get used to not calling someone at night to tell them how your day was. You replace these old habits with new habits, like texting your friends in a group chat all day and planning fun dinner parties and going out on adventures with your girlfriends, and then all of a sudden one day you’re in London, and you realize you’ve been in the same place as your ex for two weeks and you’re fine. And you hope he’s fine.
The first thought that came to my mind was, I’m finally clean. I’d been in this media hailstorm of people having a very misconstrued perception of who I was. There were really insensitive jokes being made at awards shows by hosts; there were snarky headlines in the press – ‘Taylor Goes Through a Breakup: Well, That Was Swift!’ – focusing on all the wrong things.”
– to Elle in 2015
• “I realized there’s this idea of happily ever after which in real life doesn’t happen. There’s no riding off into the sunset, because the camera always keeps rolling in real life.”
– to Elle in 2015