Spurgeon, Saylor and Elsie Otter should have a playdate

By Alex Heigl
December 16, 2015 11:00 AM

A woman in India recently gave birth in the back of a cab, and when she offered her the cab driver the opportunity to name her newborn son, he went with Uber.

It’s been a strange year for baby names: Here are 9 of the odder ones I could find, along with my immediate, knee-jerk reaction to hearing it for the first time. (Apologies to all children and parents probably offended.)

The Name: Elsie Otter
The Parents: Zooey Deschanel and Jacob Pechenik
My Immediate Reaction: “Water weasel,” “Aquatic cat snake” and “river dog” were all taken, weren’t they?

The Name: Rocket Zot
The Parents: Sam Worthington and Lara Bingle
My Immediate Reaction: Lost Star Wars character. Possibly a virtuous but roguish bounty hunter but maybe also an alien that’s mostly eyes in a crowd shot somewhere.

The Name: Brooklyn Elisabeth
The Parents: Nick and Vanessa Lachey
My Immediate Reaction: Someone needs to name their baby “Staten Island” in 2016. That borough’s been royally screwed in the celebrity baby-name game and I’m sick of it.

The Name: Lachlyn Hope
The Parents: Catriona McGinn and Mark-Paul Gosselaar
My Immediate Reaction: Sounds medical.

The Name: Spurgeon Elliot
The Parents: Jessa Duggar and Ben Seewald
My Immediate Reaction: Still sounds like a fish I wouldn’t order unless deep-fried and beer-battered.

The Name: Saylor James
The Parents: Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler
My Immediate Reaction: Copy editors wept.

The Name: Anything That’s Also an Instagram Filter (Lux, Ludwig, Amaro, etc.)
The Parents: Apparently a lot of you
My Immediate Reaction: Nobody’s going with “Lo-Fi?” And you guys know that these filters are named for other things already, right? Like, amaro is a liqueur and valencia is a kind of orange.

The Name: Lyon
The Parents: Enough to bump it up 61 percent in BabyCenter’s database
My Immediate Reaction: Spelled incorrectly and also makes everyone think your child is a teller of untruths and/or large land predator, especially if your last name is also a first name, like “Lyon Jones.” Actually, that’s kind of awesome. I retract my statement.

The Name: Lucious
The Parents: Again, enough of you to nudge this into BabyCenter’s database for the first time in three years.
My Immediate Reaction: Yeah, I get it, you watch Empire. Cool. But Lucious? Even if that kid doesn’t immediately sprout a villainous mustache and start tying people to train tracks, it’s already set up for a lifetime of old-timey mischief and plotting.