Sting Hosts a Night of Really Bad Sex
If he’s not careful, Sting could become the Billy Crystal of bad sex.
The rocker had quite an honor bestowed upon him in London Wednesday — serving as host for Britain’s least-desired literary trophy, the Bad Sex in Fiction Award.
Now in its 11th year, the dubious honor is awarded by the Literary Review magazine for the most inept description of sexual intercourse in a novel.
Sting, 52, who once boasted that yoga had improved his sexual endurance, presented the prize Wednesday night after each of the competing passages had been read to a 500-strong audience, Reuters reports.
And the “winner” was: Indian writer Aniruddha Bahal, for his “Bunker 13.” Bahal took the honors for a passage that included the following:
“She is topping up your engine oil for the cross-country coming up. Your RPM is hitting a new high. To wait any longer would be to lose prime time. … She picks up a Bugatti’s momentum. You want her more at a Volkswagen’s steady trot. Squeeze the maximum mileage out of your gallon of gas. But she’s eating up the road with all cylinders blazing.”
The Delhi-based writer told BBC News Online that he had heard of the award but “never thought that one day I would be nominated for it.” He said his publishers picked up his air tab to fly in for the award, and he “took it as an opportunity to see my friends in London.”
Bad prose, but a good sport.