"This is not just about saving lives; it is also about being pro-parent," Loeb writes in a New York Times piece
In a New York Times op-ed posted Wednesday, the businessman, 39, claims he offered “to pay for all expenses” to carry two female embryos he and Vergara, 42, had created during their relationship to term and raise them.
“If she did not wish to share custody, I would take on full parenting responsibilities and agree to have her declared an egg donor,” writes Loeb, who adds that the couple ultimately split after he gave Vergara an ultimatum about having children. “She has refused.”
Loeb’s parents divorced when he was just a baby, and he claims he was raised by a nanny after his father gained custody but traveled often for work. His mother “virtually disappeared” until he was 9 and died when he was 20, he writes.
The lack of a stable family unit growing up, coupled with several failed relationships – one of which included an abortion which was “entirely out of my hands,” he says – spurred his desire to have a children.
Meeting in 2010, “her career was about to take off, and I didn’t want to pressure her [to have children], as I wanted her to fulfill her dreams and reap the rewards of her hard work,” he writes of Vergara.
After two years together, the couple got engaged in 2012, and according to Loeb, he and Vergara created two female embryos that year, but the first implantation was unsuccessful and their surrogate miscarried the second embryo.
Though they created two more female embryos a year later, “it became clear once more that parenthood was much less urgent for her than it was for me,” he writes.
Ultimately seeking to void a form the couple signed in 2013 stating “that any embryos created through the process could be brought to term only with both parties’ consent” because “the form did not specify – as California law requires – what would happen if we separated,” Loeb writes he doesn’t want to “let the two lives I have already created be destroyed or sit in a freezer until the end of time.”
“For as long as I can remember, I have dreamed of being a parent,” he writes. “I take the responsibility and obligation of being a parent very seriously. This is not just about saving lives; it is also about being pro-parent.”
The Modern Family actress – who is now engaged to actor Joe Manganiello – said in a statement to PEOPLE earlier this month through her attorney Fred Silberberg that she “has never wanted to destroy her embryos.”
According to Silberberg, the agreement Vergara and Loeb signed in 2013 stated that “no unilateral action can be taken with regard to the embryos unless both parties consent. Vergara has never suggested that she wished to have the embryos destroyed. She has always maintained that they be kept frozen, a fact of which Loeb and his counsel have always been aware, despite Loeb’s statements to the contrary.”
“Vergara, who has happily moved on with her life, is content to leave the embryos frozen indefinitely as she has no desire to have children with her ex, which should be understandable given the circumstance,” her attorney concluded.