Little Tiana learned a lot from watching her parents break up, and now she's schooling all of us

By Lydia Price
Updated September 23, 2015 10:00 AM
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Finally, 6-year-old Tiana is here to tell you everything you need to know about life.

The perceptive youngster laid it all out for her mom Sherry after witnessing her divorced parents argue. Luckily for humans everywhere, Sherry caught Tiana’s speech on camera and shared it with the world via the inter-web.

We compiled this handy guide to the teachings of this emerging life coach, who we really, really hope will one day run the world. Seriously, is it too late to get her on the presidential ballot?

1. Keep it low and "just try your best"
Altitude is a major theme in the upcoming (we assume) Book of Tiana. Our teacher is a realistic one, and she knows unreachable expectations, like wanting to be besties with a recent ex, just set people up for failure. “Try not to be that high up to be friends. I want everything to be low,” she advises her mom about restructuring her relationship with her ex-husband. “Just try your best.”

2. Don’t be a meanie, be a friend!
Meanies are the harbingers of evil, and not staying low puts you on a fast track to becoming one. “I don’t want you and my dad to be replaced and be meanies again,” Tiana tells her mom about the risk of not getting along with her dad. “I want you and my dad to be [in a] place that’s settled and be friends. I’m not trying to be mean, I just want everyone to be friends.” If you choose to be mean, you better be prepared for severe consequences: “If we live in a world where everyone is being mean everyone is going to be a monster in their future.”

“What if there is just a little bit of persons and we eat them? Then no one will ever be here. Only the monsters in our place. We need everyone to be a person,” she adds later.

3. Everyone should smile
Tiana has decreed that everyone and “everything” should be smiling, “not like being mad.” If you are in her presence, you should make an extra effort to display a sunny disposition. “When I see someone, I want them to smile. Especially when I see Nanna, everyone,” she says. Not being a meanie means helping other people smile; that way you can see their beautiful grins, and we should all find joy in the happiness of others, just like Tiana.

4. Encourage others to find balance
“I think you can do it,” Tiana tells her mom, despite her recent shortcomings, “I think you can settle your mean heights down a little to short heights, then it’s both.” The 6-year-old has faith that humans everywhere can level out their highs and lows to find a peaceful balance. Being thrust too high in anger or too deep in passion only brings about suffering, so Tiana proposes a more stoic approach to relationships. And she believes that everyone has the power to make it work: “If I can be nice, I think all of us can be nice too.”

5. Your heart is something and you should stay were your heart is
Tiana needs you to understand how important your heart is. So important, in fact, that you should use it as your life’s compass and always try to be where it is. She is happy to give you the exact location of where you, and your heart, should be: “I’m trying to be steady on the floor. Not way down. On straight. On the middle where my heart is. My heart is something. Everyone else’s heart is something too.”

6. Keep your dreams in reason
“I just want everything to be settled down, nothing else. I just want everything to be good as possible, nothing else,” Tiana says. Could she be more zen? No she could not, and it’s because more than anything, Tiana craves stability. Truly, life can only be as “good as possible.” Don’t let the endless pursuit of the impossible distract you from enjoying what can be enjoyed in the here and now.

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