Moakler parties at the Playboy mansion while Barker and Paris Hilton make out
Credit: Darby Shaw/ZUMA;Ramey

Estranged spouses Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker both showed up at Hugh Hefner’s pre-Halloween party at the Playboy Mansion Saturday night – and so did Barker’s sometimes squeeze, Paris Hilton.

But this time, there was no incident between Moakler and Hilton – in fact, Moakler didn’t speak to Hilton or Barker the entire night.

But the next morning, Barker and Moakler did talk, when he stopped by her house to pick up supplies for their kids – daughter Alabama, 10 months, and son Landon, 2 – who were on their way to Disneyland.

Moakler tells PEOPLE exclusively she “sensed” the visit was meant to re-establish a relationship: “I thought at the end of the discussion he and I could work towards being friends and that could work towards getting back together.”

She adds, “He said he was in love with me.”

Barker has a slightly different take: “I didn’t go there and say, ‘I’m madly in love with you, Shanna,’ ” he tells PEOPLE exclusively. “If anything, there was an attempt to reconnect. I told her I was ready to be her friend.”

But that was Sunday. On Monday, which would have been their two-year anniversary, Moakler saw some photos that upset her: “I saw pictures of him trying to stick his tongue down Paris’s throat at the mansion. (The kiss) was in very poor taste.”

So for now, a friendship is not in the cards. “After the events of yesterday and after seeing what he did with Paris at the mansion, it’s not possible,” she says.

Asked about the photos, Barker says: “Paris and I have tongue kissed before. It’s not unusual for me to say hello to Paris and kiss her, but it’s not like we are a couple or anything. When we see each other, we say hello. That’s it. I was like any other single young man, just enjoying myself.”

He adds, “Paris wasn’t the only girl I kissed that night.”

And although his estranged wife was at the party, she was nowhere around during the kissing, he says. “If I saw Shanna in the vicinity, I would never make out with anybody. I wouldn’t disrespect or humiliate her.”

And Barker isn’t ready to give up on someday being friends with Moakler. “I never say never – Shanna taught me that,” he says. “I could never write her off.”

For her part, Moakler is making the best of the situation: She’s throwing a “divorce party” Friday night at the club Light in Las Vegas.