Selena Gomez doesn’t seem to be having a great birthday weekend.
The star kicked off the international part of her Revival world tour Saturday night in Jakarta and got real with her fans – both onstage and online. And just one day after turning 24, the singer appeared to be having a blast with her friends as they all arrived in Indonesia. Gomez was all smiles until her concert, when she addressed issues to the crowd and sent a message to her Instagram followers later that night.
Hours before her show, she posted several photos and videos to her Snapchat. In all of them, she was giggly and excited to see everyone.
“I’m very, very happy and excited,” she said in one video, later adding, “Everybody here is so nice.”
But just before performing her hit single “Kill ‘Em With Kindness” to end the show, Gomez got emotional and said to the crowd, “The next song, before I go home, is a song that’s so important to me, because I get really frustrated. I get stupid sometimes. I say things that I don’t mean, or that come out wrong, just because I care so badly.”
She continued her message, perhaps alluding to the recent feud her bestie Taylor Swift has been dealing with versus Kanye and Kim Kardashian West. Gomez defended Swift in a tweet, in which she said, “Truth is the last thing we need right now is hate, in any form.”
“But the thing is, at the end of the day, no war in anger was ever won,” she said, quoting her song. “I do know that deep down in my heart, that I have to believe that we can love each other and always be kind, no matter what it takes in us. I believe that we can do that, no matter what.”
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Things took an even more emotional turn when Gomez posted a note on her Instagram that night, reflecting on her performance.
“Tonight I felt extremely unauthentic, unconnected to both myself and my music. I’ve never really felt like my materials, wardrobe or a video could define me. I act on a moment and fear that something hasn’t happened. I’m stagnant, I stay still and don’t just sit with myself first and ask ‘Is this where I am, whole heartedly?’ I’ve always told the truth. I’m always true to my word, I’ve shown who I am but I need to rethink some areas of my life creatively and personally.”
She captioned the screenshot, “not being negative about anything I’ve done. I’m grateful for every single moment I get here – Indonesia you were LOUD and clearly inspiring. Love you so much”
The Revival tour is set to continue Monday night in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.