School Apologizes for Mistakenly Sending Out Sarcastic 'Hurt Feelings Report'
The form includes a space for the "Name of person who hurt your pansy a-- feelings"
A Delaware school district has apologized for accidentally sending out a sarcastic “hurt feelings report” via email.
Brandywine School District apologized for sending the attachment out to parents at Lombardy Elementary in Wilmington, claiming the satirical form came from “a source external to the school” and that it was “not an official document.”
The mistakenly attached form was part of an email sent to families for the school’s “Exercise Your Brain Day,” reports The News Journal in Delaware.
It includes questions like “Was anyone sympathetic to whiner” “How long did you whine?” There are also spaces for “Name of person who hurt your pansy a– feelings,” “Which ear were the hurtful words spoken into” and “Did you require a tissue for tears?
The “reason for filing this report” section features boxes to be marked including “I am thin-skinned,” “I am a crybaby,” “The weather is too cold” and “The Dept needs to fix my problems.” (The origin of the document is unknown, although other versions of the form sub in “the Army” or other organizations for “the Dept.”)
A space marked “narrative” prompts the form’s writer to “tell us in your own sissy words how your feelings were hurt, as if anyone cared.”
“This was an embarrassing mistake, but it was just that – a mistake,” Brandywine School District spokeswoman Alexis Andrianopoulos told The News Journal in an email. “It should not have happened, and we apologize for the error.”
While at least one parent complained about the form, the outlet interviewed one father who, while picking his child up at the school, said, “If the children didn’t see it, what is the problem? It was a dumb prank, but I don’t think it was malicious.”
But with the form’s offer to “[dispatch] an EMS team to soak your socks in coal oil to prevent ants from crawling up your legs and eating their way up your candy a–,” it potentially ended up causing at least as many hurt feelings as it lampooned.