The world will finally know the truth

By Alex Heigl
Updated January 22, 2014 01:10 PM
Credit: Bruno Vigneron/Getty

Quentin Tarantino has killed what was slated to be his newest project, an ensemble Western called The Hateful Eight, after the script was leaked.

He told Deadline that he was “very, very depressed” about the incident and that he’d only given the script to six people.

“I gave it to one of the producers on Django Unchained, Reggie Hudlin, and he let an agent come to his house and read it,” Tarantino continued. That s a betrayal, but not crippling because the agent didn t end up with the script. There is an ugly maliciousness to the rest of it. I gave it to three actors: Michael Madsen, Bruce Dern, Tim Roth.”

With that in mind, it’s time to figure out who’s at the bottom of this. The game is afoot!

Tim Roth

Likelihood of Having Leaked Script

: Next to none. “The one I know didn t do this is Tim Roth,” Tarantino told Deadline.
Possible Motive: Revenge against Tarantino for making him film nearly the entirety of his Reservoir Dogs part in a cold, sticky pool of fake blood on a gross warehouse floor.

Michael Madsen

Likelihood of Having Leaked Script

: Low, but wouldn’t Madsen – an actor best known for his roles in Tarantino films – leaking a Tarantino script be just the kind of twist appropriate for this whole debacle? Or did we just blow your mind?
Possible Motive: Showing Tarantino that he will not just bark all day, and that he will in fact bite.

Bruce Dern

Likelihood of Having Leaked Script

: We’ll say medium-high. Dern simply may have forgotten it somewhere, possibly during an emotional, beautifully shot trip through a Midwest state with Will Forte.
Possible Motive: Just really wanted to avoid the whole “late-career reinvention” thing, finding it tacky. Wants Tarantino off his lawn, damnit.

Edward Snowden

Likelihood of Having Leaked Script

: Extremely high.
Possible Motive: Is like a kleptomaniac, only with leaking things instead of stealing. Alternate theory: Needs to impress new Russian wife/GF. (See below.)