For Pi Day, Here Are the 31.4 Best Pies, Ranked

You can't eat a mathematical ratio, but you can eat these delicious sweet and savory pies

Photo: Ocean/Corbis

Friday is Pi Day – 3/14 – and the best excuse ever for eating an immense amount of pie. (After all, you can’t eat a mathematical ratio.) We love pies here at PEOPLE, and so to celebrate the occasion, we’re ranking the 31.4 best pies out there, no matter whether they’re sweet, savory or something in between.

RELATED: The Ultimate Pi Day Recipe: A 3-Layer Cherry, Pumpkin and Apple Pie

Don’t agree with our choices? Feel free to tell us why we’re wrong in the comments. But please – keep it clean.

31.4: Moon Pie

For our fraction of a pie, we’re going with the always-tasty moon pie, a chocolate-covered sandwich of graham crackers and marshmallows. Part cookie, part s’more, the moon pie is tasty enough to count as precisely 40 percent of an actual pie.

31. Shoofly Pie

30. Chess Pie

29. Sugar Cream Pie

28. Peanut Butter Pie

The list begins in earnest with a series of regional pies, all of which, because they are American, are made with large amounts of sugar. Shoofly pie hails from Amish country, and consists of a thick mixture of brown sugar and molasses. Chess pie (also known as Jefferson Davis pie to unreconstructed Confederate sympathizers) is a Southern custard pie made with sugar and cornmeal. Sugar cream pie is an Indiana specialty; as you may have guessed, you make it by mixing sugar and cream (as well as butter). Peanut butter pie didn’t originate in a specific region, but its rich blend of peanut butter, cream cheese and confectioner’s sugar is an instant transformation back to the days of childhood.

RELATED: The Ultimate Pi Day Recipe: A 3-Layer Cherry, Pumpkin and Apple Pie

27. Mincemeat Pie

26. Jamaican Meat Pie

25. Cornish Pasty

24. Australian Meat Pie

And now we come to the savories, the redheaded stepchild of the pie family. They may not have as much firepower in the never-ending cake vs. pie wars, but these less-sweet siblings deserve a place in the Best Pie conversation. Bringing up the rear is Britain’s mincemeat pie, which is a yummy Christmastime snack, but loses points for not having any actual meat in it. (Be honest with us, pies!) Likewise, while Jamaican meat pies are a perfect late-night drunk food, they lack the variety of texture and flavor that the best cornish pasties bring to the pie game. Plus, pasties come with their own handle for eating. But even the heartiest pasty can’t compare to the flaky, meaty glory of the delicious Australian meat pie.

23. Sweet Potato Pie

22. Quiche

21. Frittata

20. Steak and Kidney Pie

Sweet potato pie

may look and taste similar to pumpkin pie, but they are not the same thing, and without the loving holiday associations of its brethren, the yams drop a bit. Quiche, when you think about it, is a pie made of eggs; a frittata is the same thing except you eat it for breakfast, which makes it better. A steak and kidney pie, meanwhile, is the closest chance any of us will get to feeling like Leopold Bloom.

19. Chocolate Cream Pie

18. Banana Cream Pie

17. Coconut Cream Pie

16. Blueberry Pie

And now to the cream pies, those custardy confections that so often end up in the face of an unlucky target. Chocolate cream pie is a poor man’s mousse, banana cream pie offers more opportunities to put Nilla Wafers in your life and coconut cream pie beats them both with its crispy toppings. You might be shocked out how low blueberry pie ends up on this list, but once you look inside your heart you shall find that you always knew it was overrated as an A-list pie.

15. Frito Pie

14. Cheesecake

13. Shepherd’s Pie

12. Pizza Pie

Of all the nontraditional dishes on this list, Texas favorite Frito pie is the most unique, being the only pie in the world eaten out of a bag. (Pair it with some box wine and you’ve got yourself one heck of a Saturday night.) Cheesecake is the double-agent of pies; though it purports to fight on the side of cake, its true nature betrays it as a pie through and through. Shepherd’s pie continues the trend, allowing its fans the opportunity to get their meat and potatoes in with a single scoop of a fork. Lastly, the pizza pie reigns above them all, and would have been a strong contender for the No. 1 spot had that not felt a little bit like cheating.

RELATED: Happy Pi Day! Celebrate With This Salted Chocolate Slice

11. Mississippi Mud Pie

10. Pecan Pie

9. Blackberry Pie

8. Peach Pie

We’re into the solid second-tier pies here, the ones you wouldn’t eat every week but would gladly scarf up the moment your coworker brought some into the office. We don’t recommend bringing in the Mississippi mud pie, though; the chocolate concoction is best reserved for times you can get real messy with it, like birthdays or Valentine’s Day. Pecan pie bears a striking similarity to our old friend chess pie (see above) with the crucial addition of pecans, one of the top 10 nuts in the game right now. You might think Blackberry pie has taken the place of blueberry on this list and you would be right – blackberry has a subtle, complex flavor that makes blueberry pie taste like a lollipop in comparison. (No offense to lollipops.) And peach pie? Well, there’s a reason it brought Josh Brolin and Kate Winslet together.

7. Lemon Meringue Pie

6. Pumpkin Pie

5. Key Lime Pie

4. Cherry Pie

Finally, the heavy hitters. Lemon meringue pie and key lime pie perfectly blend sweet and tart, softness and crunch – in between them sits pumpkin pie, which does for fall what robins do for spring. Rounding off the list is cherry pie, which is not just an amusingly sleazy hair-metal song; it’s quite possibly the most aesthetically appealing dessert ever snatched out of an oven. The taste isn’t half-bad either.

3. Chicken Pot Pie

Shocker! How did chicken pot pie – gasp, a savory pie! – make it this high? It took a combination of tenacity, grit and – no, we’re sorry, it just always makes us feel good every time we eat it. After all, when you eat this pie for dinner, you don’t need to make any excuses.

2. Strawberry Rhubarb Pie

A common complaint of the anti-pie faction is that pies are too treacly-sweet. Introduce these people to strawberry rhubarb pie some time. Unlike other pies, which assault the senses with a full-on sugar invasion, the strawberry rhubarb sneaks up on them quietly, dangerously, until you’ve eaten half the pie without quite realizing it.

1. Apple Pie

It’s a tall burden, embodying the innocence and idealism of an entire nation, and apple pie shoulders it without a hint of strain. Think of its fellow signifiers of America-ness – the flag, the bald eagle, Rocky – each attracts its fair share of contrarian haters. Not apple pie. Everyone loves apple pie, because apple pie is good and true. Like the country it represents, apple pie is the last superpower in its field. All pies must bow under its hegemony.

RELATED: The Craving Cure-All: Salted Chocolate Tart with Potato-Chip Crust

Like us on Facebook for more stories like this!

Related Articles