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June 17, 2015 05:10 PM

PEOPLE reviewed the original Jurassic Park on June 21, 1993. How well has it aged? We were wondering that ourselves.

Sass: High. “It would appear that much more effort and imagination have been expended on the marketing of this film than on its creation,” the review opens sniffily. “The dinosaurs’ inevitable rampage unreels without much flair or wit,” reads one closing line. How could a dinosaur rampage be staged with more wit – perhaps if it took place at the Algonquin round table?

Casting Notes: “[Richard] Attenborough, in a standard mad-scientist role, is a Scottish theme-park owner ” We can think of at least two things wrong with that sentence. (Scottish? Mad scientist? Hmm.)

Mentions of Jeff Goldblum’s Shirtless Torso: Depressingly, none. That’s about all we remember from our first viewing of Jurassic Park.

Possibly Short-sighted Conclusion: “The problem is the dinosaurs don’t sustain two hours of admiration.”

Mentions of the Phrase ‘Dino-Snacks’: One. (“[Samuel L.] Jackson is a computer technician who oversees the park’s intricate security system, designed to keep visitors from becoming dino-snacks.”)

Mentions of Samuel L. Jackson’s ‘Hold On to Your Butts’ Line: Zero. Shameful.

However, in December of 1993, PEOPLE added one bit of surprisingly prescient criticism to its Jurassic Park archives, calling the film “the only movie this year that’s sure to come back as a theme-park ride.”

Eh, you win some, you lose some.

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