Oprah Winfrey explains why marrying longtime love Stedman Graham has never really been a goal

Oprah Winfrey has always made her own rules, and that’s no different when it comes to her personal life.

The media mogul, 63, has set the record straight in the past, saying that she and boyfriend Stedman Graham aren’t considering marriage. In fact, the topic of tying the knot was never seriously on the table for the couple, who’ve been together since 1986.

Credit: Dan MacMedan/WireImage

“Nobody believes it, but it’s true,” Winfrey told Vogue for their September issue. “The only time I brought it up was when I said to Stedman, ‘What would have happened if we had actually gotten married?’ And the answer is: ‘We wouldn’t be together.’ We would not have stayed together, because marriage requires a different way of being in this world.”

jennifer lawrence vogue cover annie leibovitz
Credit: Annie Leibovitz/Vogue

The Wrinkle in Time star explained that she and the businessman, 66, feel comfortable with the current state of their relationship. “His interpretation of what it means to be a husband and what it would mean for me to be a wife would have been pretty traditional,” she says, “and I would not have been able to fit into that.”

RELATED VIDEO: Oprah Talks About Finally Being At Peace With Food

Winfrey’s takeaway from not conforming to societal norms: “Live life on your own terms.”

Even after over 30 years together, the TV personality keeps some things separate from Graham, including her relaxation rituals.

“I major in bathtubs,” she continues to Vogue during their interview in her California home. “I spend my time looking for the best possible bathtub a woman can buy. And actually, Stedman’s never been in this one. When I was in Chicago, he would ask for permission: ‘Can I get in your tub?’ And I would say, ‘Mmmmmm. . . . OK.’ ”