Oh No They Didn't! Oscar Night's Best Quotes

Heidi Klum makes like a squirrel, Halle Berry gets a makeover and more quips from the stars

01 of 09
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Lisa Rose/JPI

"I have snacks stored up here."

Heidi Klum, to PEOPLE, on her oversized bun

02 of 09
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Kevin Winter/Getty

"Welcome to the makeup sex."

– Host Jon Stewart, acknowledging the end of the writers

strike as he opened the 80th Annual Academy Awards

03 of 09
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Mark J. Terrill/AP

"Obviously, I'm Halle Berry. I look more like her."

Jonah Hill, to Seth Rogen, as the two supposedly

stepped in for Halle Berry and Dame Judi Dench as

co-presenters

04 of 09
JOHNNY DEPP & VANESSA PARADIS
Frazer Harrison/Getty

"Clothes!"

Johnny Depp, when asked what he was wearing on the red

carpet. Eventually, he gave a straight answer: Armani.

05 of 09
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Amy Sancetta/AP; INSET:TIMOTHY A. CLARY/AFP/Getty

"It's amazing how real it looks,"

Jason Bateman, joking with Ryan Seacrest about George

Clooney's perfectly coiffed hair

06 of 09
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Amy Sancetta/AP

"I have invisible lipstick."

Amy Adams, on what she could possibly carry in her tiny,

sheer mesh purse

07 of 09
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Kevin Winter/Getty

"And that's the closest I'll ever come to getting a knighthood."

– Best Actor winner Daniel Day-Lewis, upon having his Oscar handed to him by Helen Mirren

08 of 09
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Chris Carlson/AP; INSET:Lisa Rose/JPI

"I would tell people, but it would [reveal] how old you are."

George Clooney, joking with red carpet correspondent Lisa

Rinna (on the TV Guide Channel) after she asked him to remember how long they've known each other

09 of 09
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Mark J. Terrill/AP

"I believe he told his mother where the library is."

Jon Stewart, jokingly translating Javier Bardem's

remarks in Spanish during his Best Supporting Actor acceptance speech

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