Oh No They Didn't!: Grammy '09's Most Outrageous Quotes
"Ninety-nine percent of my life is still completely common. I do have a golden helicopter. I fly it to Malibu. But other than that, I consider myself like everyone else."
– John Mayer, discussing how he relates to "regular people" with E! host Ryan Seacrest
"Before that commercial break, we all heard from a promising new bass player named McCartney. Remember that name people, it's gonna be big."
– Jack Black, following Paul McCartney's performance of "I Saw Her Standing There"
"I won't make out with you like Bikini Girl."
– Carrie Underwood to Ryan Seacrest, about the scantily clad American Idol contestant
"You may not know this but I'm actually nominated tonight for a Grammy myself. I'm up for best solo performance in a sex tape, and I'm very excited."
– The Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson, before announcing Katy Perry's performance
"I told myself I was gonna be cool because Paul McCartney and Coldplay were here. But I'm not cool. Freak out!"
– Jennifer Nettles from Sugarland, as her group won the country duo Grammy for "Stay"
"Don't bring sand to the beach."
– A newly single Paris Hilton, explaining to Ryan Seacrest why she didn't show up with a date
"I kissed a girl and I, well, I had to apologize to Katy Perry for running up and kissing her, and I promised to stay at least 50 feet away from her."
– Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, joking while introducing Justin Timberlake's performance
"Isn't it great to see the Jonas Brothers and Stevie Wonder back together again?"
– Blink-182's Mark Hoppus, before announcing that his band was reuniting after breaking up in 2005