Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban's Secrets to a Healthy, Long-lasting Relationship
CELEBRATE EACH OTHER'S ACCOMPLISHMENTS
After attending the TIME 100 gala together in New York City, the pair cuddled up for a sweet photo in the car the next day. "Great night last night, loved sharing it with my love. Thank you #time100," she captioned the shot.
COAX EACH OTHER OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONES
While explaining to the crowd at the Spotify Fans First event how a song written by Ed Sheeran ended up on his new album Graffiti U, Urban was called out by a woman in the audience. "Play it!" she yelled. Naturally, it was Kidman, who he gently coerced to come onstage and perform the song with him. "I'm so embarrassed!" she exclaimed afterwards. "You did it, though," Urban beamed. "I love that!"
SHARE A LIFE MANTRA
When it comes to his private life, Urban revealed at a 2018 SXSW panel that his and Kidman's mantra is, "Nothing to hide and everything to protect."
CHALLENGE EACH OTHER
During that same 2018 SXSW panel, also revealed that his wife has taught him a lot about his own craft and taking risks. "Nic inspired me to try anything, to do anything… because that’s how she approaches her own work," he explained.
BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER AFTER A LONG WORK DAY
It’s no secret that filming Big Little Lies took a toll on Kidman — but thankfully, she had a constant support system in Urban off camera. “Luckily, I have a partner who is artistic so he understands what it takes to support that,” Kidman told Entertainment Tonight. “I came home to loving arms, someone who would hold me, and I was really upset at times,” she admitted. “Really damaged, really upset, and physically and emotionally drained and in pain — my neck, particularly.”
AIM TO KEEP THINGS FRESH
So fresh, in fact, that it feels like you and your beau only just started dating — which seems to be the case for Urban and Kidman. "Eleven years and you still feel like my girlfriend!!!" the country star wrote on Instagram, celebrating the pair's anniversary.
GIVE YOUR PARTNER POSITIVE FEEDBACK
"I want to say a massive thank you to my wife Nicole," Urban said at the CMT Awards while accepting the trophy for male video of the year. "You have no idea how much of what I do … she’s involved in every little piece of it."
"She hates me saying this, but I want it to be said," Urban continued. "She helps me so much making these videos what they are."
IT ALL STARTS WITH LOVE
"Just love. Just love each other, lavish each other with love," Kidman shared with PEOPLE of the secret to her happy relationship with her singer-husband. "Also we just happen to like each other too. That works."
THINK OF ONE ANOTHER
"When you're older, you've been through things, you've made mistakes," said Kidman, reminiscing about her first marriage to ex-husband Tom Cruise. "So you come into [a second marriage], still giddy, but wanting it to last." Of life with Urban, she shares, "We always consider the 'us.' We say, 'Is this going to be good for us?' It's the simplest phrase, but it works."
LEARN FROM EACH OTHER
"Nic is so unbelievably open; she doesn't keep things in or bottle them up. She's really a great communicator," Urban said. "Because of her, if I open up, every day, I'm listening and growing and learning. If I'm a better man, it's because of her."
BE ONE ANOTHER'S CONFIDANT
"She's my best friend. I've never had anybody on the planet that knows me as well as she does," the country singer told PEOPLE of his actress-wife. "I would love to have been worthy of somebody like Nic, but I was a long way from it when we met. Somehow we just found there was love there, real love. I literally just feel like the luckiest guy on the planet."
TAKE (SOME) THINGS LIGHTLY
You might not expect it, but according to Urban, the stars are "pretty goofy" when they're together: "I mean there's no question that that's what we're like. Anybody that knows us on a personal level knows that’s exactly what we're like most of the time."
THERE'S NO NEED FOR A VOW RENEWAL ...
... especially when your wedding vows are being put to daily practice. "We don't need to. The vows are strong, we keep them," said Kidman, reacting to rumors she and Urban were having a ceremony in honor of their 10-year wedding anniversary. The country crooner agrees, saying: "They're daily in the sense of action, as opposed to being recited. I like to think of showing those on a daily basis."
PUT 'LOVE IN ACTION'
"I have an incredible husband who is so willing to get on planes and fly places, even if it's for a night," Kidman said. "I had an opening of the play [Photograph 51] three nights ago, and he's in the middle of a tour in the States. I said, 'It's too much for you to have to fly all the way back, don't worry,' and he said, 'I'm flying.' " She adds: "He flew 10 hours to come and be with me for the night, and then he flew back and did a gig. That for me is love in action. That's extraordinary. But I would do the same for him and that's what we've committed to as a couple."
SUPPORT EACH OTHER DURING DIFFICULT TIMES
"He has been so good to me for nine years, but for the last month, which has been a really tough time for me he's been amazing," said the actress, opening up about her father's death. "To have my husband just step up that way it makes me cry. We all go through hard times in our lives, but to be literally carried by your partner, and physically, at times, because I was so devastated. I'll do anything for that man."
KEEP THINGS SPICY
Although the duo have repeatedly shared that they prefer phone calls over text and email when working, Urban does admit he and Kidman sometimes send each other messages of a "different" kind. "Maybe one text. Maybe one cool kind of, you know ... a year, one of those kinds of texts, yes, one of those ones with the accompanying photo," Urban told Ellen DeGeneres, before clarifying: "Nice sex texting."