The actress tells Parade about her baby girl and going "to hell and back" with husband Keith Urban's addiction

By Jesse Curti
Updated October 30, 2008 02:00 PM

Three months after giving birth to daughter Sunday Rose, Nicole Kidman is still overcome with emotion.

“I’m raw and emotional,” Kidman, 41, says regarding her baby girl in the upcoming issue of Parade magazine. “I cry even thinking of her. But they are tears of joy. Because I suppose I never thought I would get to [give birth to a child]. To have been given it so late in life – I’m so ready for it.”

Kidman, who adopted daughter Isabella, 15, and son Connor, 13, with first husband Tom Cruise, said having a baby again after 40 with husband Keith Urban has changed her mindset about taking risks.

“It’s very bittersweet. Because, at 41, I think, ‘I want to see her 21st birthday, and I want to see her get married.’ My relationship with death used to be far more ambivalent, I think, and now it’s very much about staying in the world,” she explains to the magazine. “That’s why in the past I could jump out of planes and take a lot of risks. Strangely enough, I think when you have children at 25, you still have that ‘what will be, will be’ attitude. It’s such a different way of parenting.”

Kidman also spoke about how she and Urban faced down his alcohol addiction when he checked into rehab soon after their wedding.

“We became the closest we could become, because we had to bare our souls. We did 10 years of marriage in three months. You go to hell and back with this – when the addiction takes control of the life, it’s terrifying. But there is hope, and we work on it every day, and we are in a place of actual peace right now, which is a beautiful place.”

Kidman’s next movie, the drama Australia with Hugh Jackman, opens Nov. 26.