Tom Hanks has a fat neck, claims the New York Observer, for reasons known only to itself. The hip publication claims it isn’t singling out the “Saving Private Ryan” star by pointing out his heavy head base. The weekly also mentions others who suffer the same syndrome: John Gotti’s lawyer Bruce Cutler, novelist Jay McInerney, Richard Simmons, George Michael, Neve Campbell, Al Gore, British PM Tony Blair, all of the Baldwin brothers (especially Daniel), David Lee Roth, Garry Shandling, Courtney Love and John Travolta, “perhaps the fattest neck in Hollywood, but Mr. Travolta also has a fat belly and fatty man-breasts.” The Observer warns that Leonardo DiCaprio, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon (especially) are at high risk. And how to solve looking like Jabba the Hutt? Liposuction, a plastic surgeon tells the Observer. Tom Hanks’ spokeswoman said she didn’t know what the paper was talking about.

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