May 20, 1999 12:00 AM

In the wake of Gus Van Sant’s redo of Alfred Hitchcock’s “Psycho,” and despite the film’s poor box office performance, The New York Times engaged in a bit of whimsy by fantasizing about remaking other classics by the late master of suspense. Rutgers professor Lisa Zeidner played casting director and came up with Tom Hanks and Alicia Silverstone in the Jimmy Stewart and Kim Novak roles for “Vertigo”; Bruce and Demi in Sean Connery’s and Tippi Hedren’s shoes for Hitch’s mediocre “Marnie”; and “English Patient” headliners Ralph Fiennes and Kirstin Scott Thomas for Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman in “Notorious.” As for the “new” “North By Northwest,” the professor suggests Anne Heche in the Eva Marie Saint role and Cary Grant — through computer technology — in the Cary Grant role, because “Keanu Reeves just won’t do.”

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