13 Ways Martha Stewart Is Living Her Best Life
SHE SEXTS ON THE REGULAR
In a game of Never Have I Ever with Snoop Dogg, Anna Kendrick and Ellen DeGeneres, Stewart proudly raised her "I have" panel when DeGeneres asked her guests if any of them had ever sexted. Everyone was surprised, but Stewart was quick to tell them: "I have used technology for a lot longer than you have, Ellen." Unfortunately for the rest of us, she didn't offer up anymore details when asked. "It doesn't say 'none of your business,' on here!" Stewart said of her paddle.
SHE THROWS EXCELLENT SHADE
When you're as busy as Martha Stewart, you don't have time to memorize the members of the KarJenner inner circle. That much became clear when Stewart attended a dinner party and was seated next to the one and only Jonathan Cheban, BFF of Kim Kardashian West. She threw some epic shade at Cheban when she tweeted: "#seriouslypopular @DailyMail @MailOnline do you know this guy?? He says he is well known." Even after she learned of Cheban's identity, she didn't stop her subtle shade.
SHE HITS UP NUDE BEACHES
That wasn't the only revelation Stewart shared during said game of Never Have I Ever: Later on, she said she had been to a nude beach — and was shocked that DeGeneres and Kendrick hadn't done the same. "Haven't you ever been to Saline Beach on St. Barts?" she asked, flabbergasted. Obviously, she has!
SHE'S A SOCIAL MEDIA GODDESS
People mock Martha Stewart for her less-than-appetizing food posts – she acknowledges they're bad and doesn't give a damn – but at least her Tweets are never boring. From jabs at Justin Bieber ("can't wait to teach him stuff") to her incomprehensible jumbles of words, we give Martha mad props for handling her own social media.
OH, AND SHE'S ALSO A PRINCESS
In 2013, Stewart won Halloween forever. "This year, I have been transformed into Fairy GrandMartha," she told PEOPLE. Work it, girl; your eye for over-the-top fashions inspires us all.
SHE OWNS HER GREATNESS
When asked about the biggest compliments she receives daily, Stewart responded, "How great my hair is, how much people have learned from me, and about what lovely skin I have." And how does she get that lovely skin? By applying a face mask every day at 4 a.m.
SHE'S A SHAMELESS FLIRT
SHE'S NOT FAKE
Stewart does not like Gwyneth Paltrow, and she's never going to pretend to – our girl is just that real. In a 2014 issue of Martha Stewart Living, a headline that read "Conscious Coupling" was a pretty blatant dig at Paltrow's announcement to "consciously uncouple" from ex-husband Chris Martin. (Stewart also said Paltrow "wouldn't be trying to be Martha Stewart" if she were confident in her acting. Ouch.)
HER SQUAD IS ON POINT
SHE'S A BADASS GRANDMA
When Stewart hosted a birthday party for her grandchildren, then 3 and 2, she refused to dumb down the menu, serving enoki mushrooms, asparagus with mesclun and avocado and black truffle vinaigrette (she insisted they have "an extremely sophisticated palate"). If true, we're certain they'll enjoy their grandmother's artisanal teas and handcrafted cappuccino at her just-opened Martha Stewart Café.
SHE REFERS TO HERSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON
On an episode of The Dr. Oz Show, Stewart chatted about creating a Match.com profile at 71. "I was married for 30 years to a wonderful man who went nuts and left me," she said. "I mean, can you imagine leaving Martha? I can't imagine it." (In that case, we hope her crush on Liam Neeson comes to fruition.)
HER DOG IS A CHAMPION
Genghis Khan is Stewart's fluffy-faced chow chow, and he's amazing – he won Best of Breed at the 2012 Westminster Dog Show.
SHE FITS IN EVERYWHERE
Even in a packed stadium at the season opener of the Professional Bull Riders competitions, Stewart blends right in with a cowboy hat and an oversize leather jacket. "I love this sport," she told the crowd. Yeehaw, Martha, yeehaw.