"I had a server drink out of the customer's Dr. Pepper and Coke to see which was which ... in front of them ..."

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JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF FLAIR
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If you’ve ever been fired from a job, chances are you didn’t mess up this badly.

Eighteen managers took to Reddit to share the craziest things employees have ever done to get fired.

1. “A new guy, around 20 years old, called in sick saying he thinks he had a stroke. Since he lived across the street from the store where we worked, we all then stood and watched through the store’s glass door as he packed up his truck with beach gear and drove off with his girlfriend. He was fired the next day.”

2. “Every year during the holiday season, I’d warn the new hires, ‘Listen, no matter how tempting it is, don’t steal a customer’s gift card. We can track it, I will track it, and if I catch you, you will get fired. Every year people try it, every year people get fired. Don’t do it.’ They do it anyway.”

3. “I had an assistant manager who would short the till every single day. It was always $3.64, and we could never prove it was him … even though it clearly lined up with only his shifts. One day he came back from lunch at Taco Bell in our parking lot, and my other assistant saw his lunch and thought to herself ‘that looks good!’ So she walked across the street on her break and ordered the same thing. Her total? $3.64! She immediately came back and told me. I pulled all the drawers and sure enough one was short that exact amount!”

4. “Two employees hooked up on camera, then tried to delete the footage.”

5. “An assistant manager watched porn on a work computer and crashed the whole property system.”

6. “I offered a job to a candidate, but had to step out of the office to grab some paperwork. I came back and a bus pass that was on the desk was missing. The newly hired employee stole it. I asked him to return it because a previous candidate dropped it, and he said he needed it more than they did and walked out.”

7. “An employee decides to start stealing some of our products from the warehouse and to sell them on eBay … as brand-new, with factory warranty. It only took a couple of weeks before we started getting calls for tech support for products with serial numbers we did not have registered as ‘sold’ in the system. Brief investigation leads straight to her.”

8. “Forging a tip on a receipt. Like adding $20 wasn’t going to get caught.”

9. “One day at an old job, we got a call from a customer complaining that her credit card statement didn’t match her receipt. It was $5 over. We got another call later that day saying the same thing. Later on, a dude walked in to complain … same thing. Two more people came in later. Their waiter had added $5 to each of their tips … they were all at the same table. The waiter was fired on the spot, rightfully. And the customers got hella gift certificates.”

10. “I had a server drink out of the customer’s Dr. Pepper and Coke to see which was which … in front of them …”

11. “He stole a bunch of bananas. Seriously. It was a college dining hall. He was an employee of the dining hall, and got free meals while on-shift. He was not working that day, walked into the serving area, hid a bunch of bananas in his bag and tried to pass the cashier only paying for what was on his tray.”

12. “I fired an employee for being seen on camera throwing silverware and plates into the dumpster instead of washing them in the automatic dishwasher. She was … wait for it … hired to wash dishes.”

13. “Every day at lunch, she would drink roughly half of her soda, then take it with her to the bathroom to fill it back up with whiskey. She did a pretty good job covering up the smell, and since she did it from day one, it wasn’t immediately obvious that she was getting drunk. We found out on day four when she knocked her full cup over, and we all got punched with the smell of booze in the afternoon.”

14. “A guy hired to manage a store in a mall refused to park in employee parking. As I’m sure everyone knows, mall employees have designated parking places, far from the choice spots near mall entrances. This guy refused to park there, and every time he parked illegally, the store got fined $100. And he parked in customer parking Every. Damn. Day. He was called out on it, the policy was explained over and over. He got written up. He was told that on the next infraction he would be fired. And he did it the very next day. He was totally blindsided when we actually fired him.”

15. “I hired a girl to work in a bagel store who, on her first day, told me she couldn’t touch any of the meats because she was vegan.”

16. “I used to be a supervisor at a big store in college. The other supervisor overhears an employee telling someone he has a joint in his pocket for later. My boss calls the employee into the back office to discuss with HR. HR rep asks him if he does indeed have pot. His response? ‘Nope, I smoked it already.'”

17. “A new-ish server was dealing with a complaint a customer had with their BLT. Rather than having me talk to the table he took a bite out of it and said, ‘I’m not seeing the problem.'”

18. “I had a girl that would lick the ice cream off of the side of the shake. Not because she was vindictive … she honestly didn’t even register that it wasn’t okay to do that. She was shocked.”

All posts have been edited from Reddit for length and clarity.