Paola Kudacki/GQ

The actor talks about his biggest fear as a father and how often he visits Natasha's grave

March 27, 2014 12:20 PM

Five years after his wife Natasha Richardson died, Liam Neeson continues to take things day by day, making some changes in his personal life – while keeping other things the same.

One recent development that he’s pretty happy about: The Irishman gave up drinking about a year ago.

“I was drinking too much. It started since my wife died,” the actor, 61, tells GQ in a new interview.

“Pinot Noir: That’s all I drink. I was never into spirits or liquor, hard liquor. And I gave up the Guinness years ago, because it just – past an age, it sticks to you, you know? So last year, I just thought – they’ve been throwing these action movies at me, and I thought, ‘Okay, let’s just change it a little bit.’ And it’s been great. I love it.”

The actor also says he’s not dating these days.

“I’m keeping myself to myself. And I like it that way,” he says. “I’m not hunting. I’m the opposite of a – what would a male cougar be? Is there such a thing? Whatever it is, I’m not that.”

In any case, he’s busy working, and raising his two sons, who are now 17 and 18.

“My boys are teenagers. They’re experimenting,” he says. “They’re flexing muscles and sometimes dangerous avenues, and you think, ‘F––. If Tasha was here, someone could share this.’ But yeah, we’re doing all right, you know?”

His biggest worry about his sons? “It’s f––ing drugs,” he says. “It’s a virus. A teenager can take it and suddenly they can be hooked, and it changes their life and their family’s forever. That’s my constant worry. And I trust them, and they’re sensible boys, but it can be just that chemistry that doesn’t work.”

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And then, of course, there is the grief for Natasha that still lingers. A month after she died, Neeson withdrew from Steven Spielberg’s movie Lincoln, in which he was set to play the title role. Now, five years later, she is still rarely far from his thoughts.

“Tasha, she’s buried up near our house,” he says. “Old cemetery. Her grandmother, too. I go see Tasha once or twice a week. Just to talk. I like it There’s a Civil War soldier near her. I look at his headstone a lot. All it says is GRIT AND GRACE.”

Paola Kudacki/GQ

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