The singer owns up to her "disaster" with drug use and why she's lonely

By Rennie Dyball
August 02, 2010 12:00 PM

If it wasn’t for her grandmother, Lady Gaga might not be the huge star she is today.

“All I will say is I hit rock bottom, and it was enough to send a person over the edge,” the music phenom, 24, tells Vanity Fair for its September issue. When it came to her drug use, says Gaga (real name: Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta), “My mom knew the truth she said, ‘I’m coming to get you.’ ”

Together, mother and daughter went to Gaga’s 82-year-old grandmother’s house in West Virginia.

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“I cried. I told her I thought my life was over and I have no hope and I’ve worked so hard, and I knew I was good,” the star recalls. “What would I do now? And she said, ‘I’m gonna let you cry for a few more hours. And then after those few hours are up, you’re gonna stop crying, you’re gonna pick yourself up, you’re gonna go back to New York, and you’re gonna kick some ass.’ ”

Gaga, who’s known for looking after her fans, also made sure to issue a warning that her “little monsters” don’t copy her behavior.

“I do not want my fans to ever emulate that or be that way,” she says. “I don’t want my fans to think they have to be that way to be great. It’s in the past. It was a low point, and it led to disaster.”

On the personal front, Gaga admits that she’s drawn to relationships that can also have disastrous consequences.

“I’m drawn to bad romances,” she says. “And my song ["Bad Romance"] is about whether I go after those [sort of relationships] or if they find me. I’m perpetually lonely. I’m lonely when I’m in relationships. It’s my condition as an artist.”

What’s more, “I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they’re going to take my creativity from me through my vagina,” says the uncensored star. “I’m quite celibate now.”