The former Twilight star talks about falling in love and being awkward

By K.c. Blumm
Updated February 10, 2014 09:00 AM
Tesh/Marie Claire

Kristen Stewart knows that there are some things that she’s not very good at – interviews, TV appearances, posing on the red carpet – but she’s okay with that.

“People are like, ‘She just can’t handle’ – for lack of a better word – ‘the spotlight.’ No, actually, I can’t, and this is totally who I am,” she admits in the March issue of Marie Claire.

“I don’t try to force it or turn it into something else or fabricate this personality so I totally agree when people say I’m, like, the most awkward person.”

The 23-year-old, who got her start as a child but rocketed to fame in the Twilight films, says she “had no idea Twilight was going to be huge” – or that she would end up falling for her costar, Robert Pattinson.

“You don’t know who you will fall in love with. You just don’t. You don’t control it,” she says.

“Some people have certain things, like, ‘That’s what I’m going for,’ and I have a subjective version of that. I don’t pressure myself If you fall in love with someone, you want to own them – but really, why would you want that? You want them to be what you love. I’m much too young to even have an answer for that question.”

Stewart’s relationship with Pattinson imploded in 2012 after she had a fling with Rupert Sanders, the married director of her film Snow White and the Huntsman.

While Stewart issued a public apology, and they reconciled, the couple seemingly split for good last year.

But for Stewart, who admits she lives a “fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants lifestyle,” there’s no looking back.

“I stand by every mistake I’ve ever made,” she says. “So judge away.”