"I feel stronger now," she writes in an essay published in Elle UK.

By Kathy Ehrich Dowd
Updated July 24, 2014 12:00 PM
Credit: Alexander Tuma/Startraks

In a raw and revealing new essay, Kesha has opened up about her eating disorder – and her decision to seek treatment earlier this year.

The singer and Rising Star mentor, 27, writes in the August issue of Elle UK that she decided to share her “uncomfortable story” in case it might help others.

“I feel stronger now,” she writes. “Strong enough to admit that I needed help, and strong enough to have faced it head on. I’m not fully fixed – I am a person in progress, but I want to be part of the solution, not the problem.”

The “Crazy Kids” singer, who recently hinted that her new music might surprise fans, says her issues started before stardom, when she was an awkward middle school student in Nashville.

“[That was where] I started to become aware of just how much I didn’t fit in,” she writes. “Ever since I can remember, I got bullied at school because I was different.”

To cope, she immersed herself in her burgeoning music career – and not to partying, as some suggested.

“I’ve written songs about partying, but my dirty little secret is that I’m actually incredibly responsible,” writes the singer, who dropped the dollar sign from her name post-rehab.

She points to the music industry’s “unrealistic standards” for contributing to her eating disorder.

“I started becoming overly critical of my body because of that,” she writes.

Her rock bottom occurred when she got home from her world tour last year significantly more drained than usual.

“For weeks I barely got out of bed. My body was shutting down, and I knew why,” she writes, eventually calling her mom from a gas station in tears.

She headed to rehab initially feeling “terrified” and “vulnerable,” but eventually embraced the experience and got better – although the self-improvement continues.

“Even I need to be reminded that we are who we are,” she writes. “And when I say that, I f– mean it, now more than ever.”

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