It's easy to read between the lines of the couple's announcement

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Credit: Kevin Winter/Getty

By now, the last remaining thread of your childhood has likely been severed by the news that Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, of Muppets fame, have "terminated" (could they have picked a less-sensitive word?) their relationship.

It’s easy to read between the lines of their statement: “Miss Piggy made the difficult decision to terminate our romantic relationship … our personal lives are now distinct and separate, and we will be seeing other people, pigs, frogs, et al. This is our only comment on this private matter.”

Translation: Someone totally cheated. (You know, probably.)

Now, the only question is, who? Who broke up the longest-lasting relationship in the history of felt? What monster (perhaps literally, perhaps figuratively) would do such a thing? Below, we take a look at some of the likely suspects.

The Swedish Chef

Though the Swedish Chef might not be fluent in any actual language, who hasn’t been tempted by a lovingly prepared Italian meal, candlelight and red wine?

The Great Gonzo

The Great Gonzo has amply demonstrated his predilection for interspecies coupling. And he and Camilla the Chicken have been together for a long, long time. Surely he and Miss Piggy found plenty of time to commiserate about the stress of long-term relationships.

Janice

As the guitarist for the Electric Mayhem, Janice is no doubt familiar with the wanton lifestyle of the touring musician. “Come to my dressing room,” she might have said to Kermit, late one night. “Bring your banjo. We’ll work on a duet.”

Rowlf the Dog

This one, if true, is especially galling, since Rowlf was commiserating with Kermit about the troubles of romance as early as 1979. But Kermit should’ve known better: That whole song (listen above) is about being an inveterate womanizer, allegedly.

RELATED VIDEO: The Muppets Stars Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy End Their 40 Year Relationship

Sam the Eagle

“My job is to make sure this program is morally upright and cultural and wholesome,” Sam once said, which is exactly what someone would say right before they do something that is neither morally upright or wholesome.

Statler and/or Waldorf

Everyone knows older men have a certain je ne sais quoi.