Justin Timberlake is definitely cookie dough, but what does that make Harry Styles?
Boy band members are a lot like ice-cream flavors: There’s such a wide variety that it’s always hard to pick exactly which one is your very favorite.
But what if every boy-band member actually was an ice-cream flavor?
Well, then they would be the ice-cream flavors on this list.
Jordan Knight: Cherry Garcia. Beloved by people in their 30s. King of a certain genre, even if you don’t see it around as much anymore. Seems basically normal, but has an undercurrent of weirdness that you can’t quite place.
Donnie Wahlberg: Cake Batter. Probably not great for you, but way too charming to resist for long.
Jonathan Knight: Bubblegum. Big in the ’80s. Enjoyed by Tiffany.
Joey McIntyre: Blueberry Waffle Cone. Came on the scene as a novelty, but became a classic that stands the test of time.
Danny Wood: Coffee. Not the sweetest, but it’s strong and gets the job done.
Wanya Morris: Red Velvet. Sweet. Soft. Luxurious. Valentine’s Day in physical form.
Nathan Morris: Neapolitan. A classic. Been around the block a few times, but still holds up.
Shawn Stockman: Cherry Vanilla. The taste of romance. Sensitive and masculine all at once.
Michael McCary: Dark Chocolate. Deep, deep flavor.
Nick Carter: Triple Chocolate. A runaway train of hedonism that barrels so fast towards your pleasure zones that you don’t mind if it derails.
AJ McLean: Rocky Road. The disparate ingredients at play here probably shouldn’t work together – it’s all too much – but, impossibly, they do.
Howie Dorough: Cotton Candy. Friendly. Unthreatening. You would hug it, if you could.
Kevin Richardson: Snickers. Gritty and hard-bitten. The choice of mature palates with plenty of experience. Not just for teenyboppers.
Brian Littrell: Mint Chocolate Chip. An old favorite. Just a tad underrated, but can provoke a smile with even the slightest memory.
Justin Timberlake: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. A worldwide favorite that transcends race, class or creed. So popular it’s almost embarrassing to pick as your favorite.
JC Chasez: Strawberry. An integral part of many successful teams, and just as enjoyable in its own right.
Lance Bass; Vanilla Bean. Not just plain vanilla. Full of subtle pleasures that astound in their richness.
Joey Fatone: Phish Food. An overwhelming mix of flavors that hits a sweet spot you didn’t know existed.
Chris Kirkpatrick: Superman. Zany. Colorful. You might be shy to say you love it, but you’d never turn it down.
Nick Lachey: Cookies and Cream. The hidden secret of the A-List. Famous for a boldface partner, but might be more tasty on its own.
Drew Lachey: Chocolate Chip. Looks a lot like the one above, but isn’t. Has its own separate fan base made up of passionate defenders.
Jeff Timmons: Pistachio. An old favorite you might not have thought of in a while. Goes good with almost everything.
Justin Jeffre: Corn. Popular with hipsters.
Harry Styles: 99 Flake. A British institution, with an elegantly chaotic shape that defies belief.
Liam Payne: Cornetto. Consistently dependable. It gives you what it says on the tin, and you’re never disappointed.
Zayn Malik: Mars Ice Cream Bar. Hidden depths here. Could hurt if you bite off more than you can handle. It takes great restraint to not gobble it all up.
Louis Tomlinson: Rolo ice cream. The taste of Yorkshire!
Niall Horan: Solero Exotic. Impossibly cute. So bright and yellow your heart will melt (before it does).
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