Your Weekly Horoscope: Warm and Fuzzy Butterflies or True Detective-esque Weirdness?
See if the new moon means you're destined for splitsville like Robin Thicke and Paula Patton ... or a whoosh of teamwork mojo instead
Pisces (Feb. 19 Mar. 20)
When the leaves turn colors and crunch under your feet this fall, what do you imagine will be different in your life? The new moon has kick-started a new six-month cycle for you – set your plan in motion now to reap the rewards during sweater weather.
Aries (Mar. 21 Apr. 19)
Mars is all up in your relationship’s face, but that doesn’t mean you’re destined for Splitsville like Paula Patton and Robin Thicke. Single Aries, be patient. Commitment-phobes, be fair and make a choice. Two peas in a tight pod may need some breathing room.
Taurus (Apr. 20 May 20)
You’re seeking the Marty Hart to your Rust Cohle (but with way, way fewer trust issues). With Saturn parked in your seventh house, the stage is set for a great partnership in business or life – just be sure to screen for signs of deep weirdness, detective.
Gemini (May 21 Jun. 21)
Woohoo, you’ve got a few extra bucks in your pocket! Now, don’t blow it all on a diamond grill or Japanese selvedge jeans. Hold on tightly until this weekend, when Jupiter goes direct and new (financially responsible) opportunities abound.
Cancer (Jun. 22 Jul. 22)
You’ve been on a wild roller coaster, Cancer, and you left your Dramamine in your other purse. Thankfully, lovey-dovey Venus in Aquarius on Wednesday makes everything more copacetic. Once you don’t need to white-knuckle it, lean back and enjoy the ride.
Leo (Jul. 23 Aug. 22)
Where did you get those rose-colored glasses, Leo? Looking upon the object of your affection, you’re all warm fuzzies and butterflies – but will the feeling remain when the sunnies come off? Get in touch with your intuition and listen to your heart.
Virgo (Aug. 23 Sep. 22)
You’ve been working behind the scenes for a long time. Have you lost hope in ever finishing your project? The Pisces new moon brought with it a whoosh of teamwork mojo. Keep at it, and you’ll be ready to strut your stuff by spring.
Libra (Sep. 23 Oct. 23)
With your cash flow turning into a sputter, the time has come to take an interest in your achy breaky bank account. Saturn in retrograde gives you extra time to work out the best strategy for saving. Take this opportunity to learn the lessons presented to you.
Scorpio (Oct. 24 Nov. 21)
Congratulations on winning the Oscar for Mopiest Sun Sign this week, Scorpio. Lift your spirits with some pampering – a deep tissue massage or a glass of single-malt Scotch should do the trick. You’ll be back to your sassy self in no time.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 Dec. 21)
With Jupiter in retrograde, you feel like you’re being pulled in a thousand directions and getting nothing accomplished (besides creating more stress). Slow your pace. You’ll see that there’s enough time to get everything done without breaking a sweat.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 Jan. 19)
A certain situation has run its course, so you’d be wise to start planning your great escape. Make sure to get all your affairs in order first, though. Don’t leave people behind with a mess – just an elegant view of your backside, Pippa Middleton style.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 Feb. 18)
Staying motivated right now seems totally impossible, but with the right support – a gym buddy, cool-headed colleague, or generous benefactor – you can achieve anything. And Aquarius, don’t forget to smile. (Tip: Imagine a corgi holding a cupcake.)
Like us on Facebook for more stories like this!