TFW you no longer believe in Santa

By Diana Pearl
Updated December 04, 2015 05:50 PM
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The holidays may be fun, but, of course, they come with some angst.

But what exactly makes emotions run so high during the month of December varies as you get older and older.

Age 5:
There are only two days on the calendar that matter: Christmas and my birthday. Why? Two words: Santa and PRESENTS!

Age 13:
Okay, sure, presents are nice and all, but an entire day in which I’m forced to be with my family and not with my friends?!?! Plus, Santa is a lie and I no longer trust my parents. This is torture. Can I go play with my new iPad now?

Age 17:
Getting slightly sentimental about spending time with my family because I’m going to college next year, but I can’t show it because I AM A COOL TEENAGER. Also, all my presents are practical and dorm-related – like a shower curtain – but all I wanted was a car.

Age 21:
Being home for the holidays basically just means that you’ll spend a significant chunk of time running into/making subsequent small talk with every. single. person. you went to high school with. No, that’s not an exaggeration. I truly mean every single one. Especially at the one and only town bar.

Age 24:
Coming home for the holidays means a whole week where I get to eat food out of my parents’ fridge, a.k.a. food I did not pay for. I don’t need presents – this is the best thing to happen to me all year.

Age 32:
Now it’s my turn to host, so I’m coordinating travel plans, cooking a turkey, stringing lights, wrapping presents, dealing with crying children and baking cookies. Suddenly, I have a whole new level of appreciation for my parents – not to mention a hankering for a glass of wine.

Age 66:
I’ve officially passed the hosting throne. Goodbye, turkey baster. Goodbye, wrapping paper. It’s time to sit back, relax and truly appreciate the holidays.