Which Prince song spins a tale of Yuletide heartbreak?

By Alex Heigl
Updated December 03, 2015 04:00 PM
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Christmas is a time of giving, a time of family and, most of all, a time of hearing songs you’ve already heard approximately 1,000 times before, to the point in which you actually may have trouble determining whether they’re real or not.

That’s the purpose of this exercise. Can you tell our carefully crafted fake Christmas songs from the real, actually-recorded-and-released-by-human-musician-beings songs?

If so, you win the highest honor PEOPLE can bestow: Christmas Wizard. If not, you’ll be roundly mocked by your peers and even some strangers we found at the bus station.

You can meet so many interesting people at the bus station.

1. Which of the following is a real James Brown Christmas song?
A. “Funky, Funky Christmas” | B. “Funky Santa” | C. “Santa Go Straight to the Ghetto” | D. “Funky Rudolph”

2. Which of these Christmas songs did Prince record?
A. “A Present 4 U” | B. “Another Lonely Christmas” | C. “Funky Santa” | D. “Christmas at Paisley Park”

3. In Tom Waits’ ‘Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis,’ what is the awful twist at the end of the song?
A. The hooker has been dead the whole time | B. The hooker is in jail | C. It’s not actually Christmas

4. Which ’90s-era gangster rap record label released a Christmas album?
A. No Limit Records | B. Ruff Ryders | C. Death Row | D. Bad Boy

5. Which ’60s surf-rock group released a Christmas album?
A. The Ventures | B. The Surfaris | C. Dick Dale | D. Jan & Dean

6. Which of the following is not a song on the Beach Boys’ Christmas album?
A. “Little Saint Nick” | B. “Merry Christmas, Baby” | C. “Surfin’ Santa”

7. What is the actual name of the ‘Sad Walking Music‘ from the Charlie Brown Christmas album?
A. “Christmas Time Is Here” | B. “Skating” | C. “Christmas Is Coming”

8. Which of the following is not a real song on Toby Keith’s 1995 Christmas album?
A. “Blame It On the Mistletoe” | B. “Hot Rod Sleigh” | C. “Jesus Gets Jealous of Santa Claus” | D. “Santa’s Got a Brand New Gun”

9. Which heavy metal band released a song called ‘Christmas with the Devil?’
A. Spinal Tap | B. Judas Priest | C. Iron Maiden | D. Black Sabbath

Answers