We're revisiting "conscious uncoupling" and beyond as the former couple finalize their divorce

By Alison Schwartz
April 21, 2015 01:35 PM
Colin Young-Wolff /Invision/AP

It’s been just over a year since Gwyneth Paltrow announced that she was splitting from Chris Martin after 10 years of marriage. That’s right: It’s been over 365 days (8,765.81 hours! 525,949 minutes! A whole lot of seconds!) since we were properly introduced to the phrase “conscious uncoupling.”

And now that the former couple are officially divorced (and openly involved in new relationships), we’re revisiting said relationship terminology – and everything else Paltrow has said about love and marriage.

“It doesn’t behoove us to be a public couple … He certainly doesn’t want to be that. We’ve never ever walked down a red carpet together, we never will. If people think that that means we’re not together, then – ha ha ha! – so be it.”

“He is so great because he’s so supportive of me as an artist I really lucked out with him. He’s deeply lovely and special.”

“I definitely have to coax things out of him when we talk. You know, he’s British, so it’s a different lexicon totally. But you have to communicate. Otherwise there’s no relationship.”

“Our artistic temperaments together [is the hardest part]. Artists are sensitive. There are ups and downs, mood-wise. Musicians need a certain gravitas and focus in order to write. The temperament that goes with someone who is creative can be challenging.”

“You’re not learning anything unless you’re having the difficult conversations. Dealing with things directly changed my relationships. Sometimes when you get clear about who you are, others get less comfortable because they liked who you were. It’s changed my marriage, too, but he’s up for the challenge.”

“I mean, we’ve gone through terrible times where it’s been really, really hard, but I’ve sort of come through those times with a much deeper understanding of myself. And we’re still married. We worked through it. I think it’s easier to get divorced. But I think the more you can keep at it, the more you end up seeing the value in it. But sometimes it is not easy.”

Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow
Christopher Polk/NBC

May 2013: My dad gave me advice on making marriage last

“I asked my dad once, ‘How did you and Mum stay married for 33 years?’ And he said, ‘Well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time.’ And I think that’s what happens. When two people throw in the towel at the same time, then you break up, but if one person’s saying: ‘Come on, we can do this,’ you carry on.”

September 2013: I would be understanding when it comes to infidelity

“No couple is the same, and as such, every couple takes on different challenges. I would like to think that I would be forgiving and/or forgiven.”

March 2014: We’re divorcing

Conscious Uncoupling: It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate.”

December 2014: I’m proud of us for staying friends post-split

“It’s painful, it’s difficult, it might be easier to say, ‘I never want to see you again,’ but what good does that do anyone? We’ve made a lot of mistakes, and we’ve had good days and bad days, but I have to say, I’m proud of us for working through so much stuff together – and not blaming and shaming.”

January 2015: We split because I hit a wall in our marriage

“I had built my life on trying to be all things to all people, and I just couldn’t do it anymore. I really had the sense that I wasn’t allowed to have needs, and I had to prove my specialness or self-worth by doing all this stuff and taking care of everybody else. And I just sort of hit a wall.”

January 2015: We’re nailing it at ‘conscious uncoupling’

“It’s a noble idea, and it’s a great thing to try to do for your kids It’s working, but it is kind of a goofy term.”

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