By Maria Yagoda
Updated June 06, 2016 11:50 AM
Credit: Burak Cingi/Redferns

Governors Ball, the three-day New York City music festival, is known for a lot of things: top performers, delicious food, general weather-related misfortune, crop tops, face jewelry. Lesser known about Gov Ball is that it’s the best place to overhear ridiculous commentary from intoxicated and dehydrated youths.

Despite the devastating Kanye West cancelYEtion (day three of the festival was called off due to severe weather concerns), this PEOPLE staffer enjoyed two full days of listening to music (Father John Misty, Robyn, De la Soul, The Strokes), as well as listening to millennials debate whether or not to Snapchat their exes.

Here are some of the best overheard nuggets from the weekend:

“I’m not sure but I’m almost positive Beck is British.” “No he’s not.” “Look it up!”

“I just want so much food all of the time.”

“Don’t touch my balls like that.”

“I’m probably going to leave after the open bar ends.” (–a literal 7-year-old)

“I’m worried that this scholarship will get in the way of my acting career.”

“Charlotte Russe was a thot store in the early 2000s.” “No it wasn’t! It became a thot store over time, slowly.”

“I’m just a lot more modern than my friends.”

“When I think about engineering, I think about what it’s done to Ryan.”

“I miss the old Kanye.”

“Beck looks like if David Spade had a baby with the tall one from Workaholics.”

“I’m a man of the church, but the church is not a man of me.”

(Pointing at me) “What is that?”

“Dude you should sext her, no doubt no doubt.”

“Take one more of me with my arms up so they’re elongated and sleek.”

(On the phone) “Currently standing next to Macaulay Culkin’s brother, Kieran.”