December 02, 2015 11:30 AM

Do you remember the Super Bowl of Sadness? You know, earlier this year, with the dead child and the crying dad and the JFK voiceovers?

Well, German supermarket chain EDEKA (the country’s largest) is gunning for the Saddest Ad Ever record with its new Christmas spot. It’s sort of a combination of Harry Chapin’s “Cat’s in the Cradle” and every movie where a loved one dies, and then that time your dog died when you were a kid.

The ad opens with an elderly man being informed by his family that they won’t be home for Christmas this year, maybe next year. It cuts to a shot of him eating alone, before the next shot reveals his children being informed of his death.

So the kids, chastened and probably shattered emotionally, show up to his house for the funeral, dressed in black, only to reveal – surprise! – Dad’s alive! He was just teaching them a lesson about the importance of family! “How else could I have brought you all together?” the possible sociopath asks.

“Zeit heimzukommen,” the text on the screen reads, which means “time to come home.”

otherwise your crazy dad will lie to you and tell you he died. Happy holidays!

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