The 10 Weirdest Fifty Shades of Grey Products You Can Buy Your Boo This Valentine's Day

Because nothing says "I love you" like a Christian Grey merman ornament and Fifty Shades-inspired beard oil
By Tara Fowler
Updated February 11, 2015 02:00 PM
Products in this story are independently selected and featured editorially. If you make a purchase using these links we may earn commission.

1 of 10

DETOX SUGAR SCRUB

Credit: Courtesy Nature Skin Shop

To clean yourself up after you've been a baaad girl. Only to be used if Mr. Grey permits you to.

Advertisement
Advertisement

2 of 10

FIFTY SHADES TEDDY BEAR

Credit: Courtesy Vermont Teddy Bear

For the low, low price of $90, you too can snuggle up with an ursine version of Christian Grey, complete with "smoldering eyes, a suit and satin tie."

3 of 10

SHAVING SOAP

Credit: Courtesy Baier Body Boutique

This soap purports to leave your guy's skin "soft and smelling like CG." With just the right hint of manliness, its scent is seductive "without being too dominant" (tee hee).

Advertisement
Continued on next slide.
Advertisement

4 of 10

MINI COPIES OF FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

Because what self-respecting Fifty Shades fan would let their dolls read anything else?

Advertisement

5 of 10

SEPHORA'S 'GIVE IN TO ME' MAKEUP KIT

Credit: Courtesy Sephora

Whether you're going out for a helicopter ride across Seattle or staying in for a quality spanking, this makeup will keep you looking your best. (But it's not like you need makeup, right? I mean you're, like, naturally pretty. Even if you try to hide it under those frumpy clothes. What, you didn't know?)

6 of 10

FIFTY SHADES OF SIN BEARD OIL

Credit: Courtesy Amazon

We're going to let the product description take the reins here: "If whips and chains excite your woman, then this beard oil is for you." Seeing that Mr. Grey is decidedly clean-shaven, we're not quite sure how the idea of Fifty Shades-inspired beard oil came about, unless Christian is planning a move to Brooklyn that we're not aware of.

Advertisement
Advertisement
Continued on next slide.
Advertisement

7 of 10

A 30-MINUTE SUMMARY OF FIFTY SHADES

Want to know what all the hype's about, but can't bring yourself to read the 530-page book? Pick up this InstaRead Summary and become a Fifty Shades expert in a half-hour (or less!). You'll be biting your lip in no time.

Advertisement
Advertisement

8 of 10

CHRISTIAN GREY MERMAN ORNAMENT

Credit: Courtesy Amazon

BDSM meets "Under the Sea"! Spice up your holidays with this unique Christmas tree decoration, complete with grey tie and just the right dusting of chest hair.

Advertisement

9 of 10

RED ROOM OF PAIN VACATION RENTAL

Credit: Courtesy Wimbu.com

Heading to London anytime soon? Forget the hotel and stay in your very own Red Room of Pain! For $171 a night, this vacation rental comes with a fully equipped dungeon to meet all of your BDSM needs.

Advertisement
Advertisement
Continued on next slide.
Advertisement

10 of 10

FIFTY SHADES SHRUG

Credit: Courtesy Crochetlab

Come on, you can't just tack on the words "fifty shades of grey" to anything!

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Replay gallery

Share the Gallery

Up Next

By Tara Fowler