September 14, 2016 09:45 AM

All is fair in love and war. Even the dumb decisions.

These Redditors ended relationships over things that might not seem well-thought out or logical … because they are not.

1. “FIFA had just come out and I genuinely forgot about her since we had only just started going out.”

2. “Every morning at the breakfast table, no matter what I said to her, she would turn her head to the side, open her eyes really wide, and say, ‘Whaaaaat?'”

3. “I had a relationship end over fruitcake that I refused to eat. There were other problems with the relationship but fruitcake was the final straw. Her mother baked fruitcake every Christmas that my ex thought was delicious. I refused to try it on the principle that fruitcake is gross. My ex badgered and badgered me into tasting it, still gross. An argument ensued that escalated into the end of the relationship.”

4. “Was close to moving our stuff in together, saw her flossing in the morning and she was eating the s— she flossed out of her teeth. Had to breakup with her.”

5. “She spilled a Diet Coke in my car.”

6. “Christmas was coming and I didn’t want to get her a present. I was 13.”

7. “He was my first kiss and I’m so socially awkward I had to end it because I felt embarrassed.”

8. “My significant other broke up with me because we sat around and did nothing all the time…We sat around and did nothing all the time because she mismanaged money and we were too poor to do anything So she took off, got into a relationship with another guy and now sits around and does nothing with him. Meanwhile I now have money and spend most of my time doing fun and interesting things.”

9. “Her voice was annoying and when speaking she placed emphasis on the weirdest parts of the sentence.”

10. “Another girl started flirting with me, I was attracted to her, and didn’t trust myself to not cheat on my girlfriend. Nothing ever happened with the new girl. I’m a stupid.”

11.”She did something messed up in a dream I had.”

12. “I broke up with him because he saw my hairy feet. I shave basically everything and guess I had missed a spot. I was a teenager, had zero coping mechanisms and couldn’t laugh at myself. I didn’t tell him that’s why I broke it off, though. I feel so bad for him, he was a really nice guy!”

13. “An old girlfriend was going to go out of town for the weekend with her family. She told me she wanted to break up for the weekend because she knew a guy there and didn’t want to cheat on me. She seemed so normal up to that point. Bullet dodged.”

14. “He didn’t like Beyoncé.”

15. “She had Batman toes. I looked down the morning after we first slept together. I saw what basically looked like Batman creeping up through the bedsheets at the foot of the bed.

The next morning, I take a look at her foot situation. Her pinky toes were longer than all of her other toes. All of them. The rest of the morning, all I could hear was the tap of her pinky toes hitting the floor before the rest of her foot with every step.
I imagined a further where we could have had children, and the combined sound of their little mutant paws running around the house. F— no. Never called her back.”

16. “She called me ‘bro.’ I ended it on the spot.”

17. “The girl wasn’t technically my girlfriend, more like friends with benefits. Anyway, my friend commented on her forehead when we were talking one day, and somehow it stuck with me. Every time I talked to her or saw her, I just couldn’t divert my attention from her large cranium. It only took maybe a week or two after that conversation until I decided to break off the friendship. It’s sad now because I had fun with her and I let something so trivial ruin that.”

18. “Celery. Can’t stand the stuff, almost to the point of phobia. She insisted on sitting up in bed ,smearing cheese spread on celery sticks and munching away. She had to go.”

19. “One of her nipples was cockeyed…Threw me off.”

20. “I was 9 at the time. Got a girlfriend on a Thursday, my mom got me glasses that weekend. I came back to school with glasses and the moment my girlfriend saw me she said ‘ewwww you dork’ and broke up with me.”

21. “He would say ‘and that…’ For example, ‘At the lake, we would ski, fish, tube and that…’ Nope.”

22. “He’d greet me with ‘Oh hi there’ with the dumbest cheesiest smile. Couldn’t take it anymore so I started an argument and ended it.”

Answers have been edited from Reddit for length and clarity.

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