The man was burning toilet paper after pulling over to go number two

By Alex Heigl
Updated July 24, 2015 03:00 PM
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Credit: Boise Fire Department

It’s tricky to answer nature’s call while in nature.

And occasionally, it’s disastrous. At least in the case of one unnamed Idaho cyclist, who started a wildfire that eventually consumed over 73 acres of foothills around Boise, Idaho, when he attempted to burn some toilet paper he’d used after relieving himself.

Or, as local ABC affiliate KTVB wrote, “Pooping cyclist starts brush fire.”

Bureau of Land Management spokesperson Carrie Bilbao had the unfortunate duty of describing the incident to KTVB: “A man was cycling in the foothills when he stopped to defecate in a ravine. Afterwards, the man tried to get rid of the waste by lighting the toilet paper on fire. The man apparently tried to bury the burning waste to extinguish it, but an ember spread to nearby dry grass.” (Legends have been born from less.)

To his credit, the man came forward to authorities and confessed. His story matched “evidence” (KTVB’s quotes, not ours; what a great euphemism) discovered at the scene. Authorities are unsure whether to charge the man or hold him financially responsible for the cost of the firefighting.

In other words, the man’s number two is about to have a few numbers bigger than two attached.