The Evening's Funniest One-Liners

Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley get caught in a love triangle, Luke Bryan goes camo commando and more LOL moments from the event
By Michael Y. Park
Updated June 06, 2012 10:00 PM

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Credit: Jason Merritt/Getty; Inset: FilmMagic

"To my wife at home, there's nothing going on between me and Mike."
– Brad Paisley, shooting down bromance rumors between him and Carrie Underwood's husband, Mike Fisher, during his acceptance speech for collaborative video of the year for "Remind Me"

"Not yet."
– Carrie Underwood, still miffed that her husband hugged her duet partner, Paisley, first

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"This is my second CMT buckle, OK? The first time around, I threw a jacket in the crowd. Well, I found out it was a very expensive jacket, so I thought I would potentially someday throw something a little cheaper ... I have some lucky camouflage underwear. Tom would you like to do the honors?"
– Luke Bryan, tossing the audience a cheaper memento while accepting male video of the year for "I Don't Want This Night to End"

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Credit: Harrison McClary/Landov; Inset: FilmMagic

"Well, Toby plays guitar, which makes him cooler than everyone else. But Kristen once threw a wild-a– party that I went to, and I woke up three states away."
– Matthew McConaughey, on the merits of CMT Music Awards co-hosts Toby Keith and Kristen Bell

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Credit: Taylor Hill/FilmMagic

"Now she sleeps over every night."
– Newlywed Jake Owen, on how life has changed now that he's married to wife Lacey Buchanan

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"'I've got Pistol Annie/Tattooed on my fanny/I'm nice to men/but I'm mean to my granny/I'm not crazy/But let me have your baby/OK, maybe I'm a bit crazy"
– Kristen Bell, auditioning to be a member of Miranda Lambert's group, the Pistol Annies

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Credit: Jason Merritt/Getty

"I've had to watch a lot of Real Housewives of Orange County so I can watch the Golf Channel."
– Lady Antebellum's Charles Kelley, on learning to compromise in his marriage to wife Cassie McConnell

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"Luke Bryan sang 'Drunk on You,' Hank and Brad sang 'Get Drunk and Play Hank Williams,' Toby Keith sang 'Beers Ago.' I don't know about you, Kenny, but I'm starting to see a theme happening here tonight."
– John Rich, to partner Big Kenny, before introducing Eric Church's performance

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"I know a lot of you are thinking my fiancée Kristen Bell got me this gig, but it was actually my mistress, Tom Arnold. Thank you, Tom Arnold!"
– Dax Shepard, giving credit where credit is due

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Credit: Taylor Hill/FilmMagic

"I'm a human disco ball. I love it."
– Carrie Underwood, on her red carpet dress

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Credit: Harrison McClary/Landov

"Not all country music's about partying, baby. Actually 'Red Solo Cup' is just about partying."
– Toby Keith, to his CMT Music Awards co-host, Kristen Bell

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By Michael Y. Park