21 Best Celeb Quotes of 2011

From Jessica Simpson to the Bronx Zoo cobra, see whose LOL one-liners made headlines this year

01 of 21
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Courtesy Jessica Simpson

"It's true – I'm going to be a mummy!"
Jessica Simpson, revealing her baby bump just in time for Halloween, on Twitter

02 of 21
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Everett; Inset: Getty

"Forgot DWTS is tonight! Someone DVR it for me. Want to watch Ralph Macchio go down for what he did to Cobra Kai Dojo."
– A Tweet from the comedic impersonator of the Bronx Zoo cobra, the notorious snake that briefly escaped from captivity

03 of 21
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PA Photos/Landov

"We'll make sure that we dig him in the ribs a few times and embarrass him – make him lose some hair."
Prince Harry, building up to his best man's toast – or should that be roast? – for brother Prince William's royal wedding to Kate Middleton

04 of 21
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INF; Courtesy Playboy Magazine

"Since we're not getting married on Saturday, I've scheduled a movie: Runaway Bride."
Hugh Hefner, finding humor in being left at the altar by fiancée Crystal Harris, Playboy's July cover girl, on Twitter

05 of 21
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Brewer/Whittle/Splash News Online

"I can't believe I am saying this – I have missed her a lot."
Simon Cowell, who reunited with former American Idol judge Paula Abdul on the U.S. version of X Factor

06 of 21
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Courtesy Mariah Carey; Inset: Frazer Harrison/Getty

"This is baby Monroe saying 'no pictures dahhhhling' at 7+1/2 weeks… Oh dear."
Mariah Carey, showing off her twin daughter's first signs of diva-like behavior, on Twitter

07 of 21
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"With a honey in the middle, there's some leeway. The area is gray in a one-two-three way."
– "D--- in a Box" collaborators Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg, introducing their new anthem with special guest Lady Gaga, on Saturday Night Live

08 of 21
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Inset: Landov

"So, Depardieu created his own little jet stream. Or as the French would say, wee wee."
– CNN's Anderson Cooper, giggling over French actor Gérard Depardieu's airplane urination incident, on Anderson Cooper 360º

09 of 21
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Eric Charbonneau/WireImage

"You doing this dance is about as scary as you making the 'change.'"
Cher, joking with son Chaz Bono about his ballroom run on Dancing with the Stars, on The Ellen DeGeneres Show

10 of 21
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Kevin Winter/Getty; Inset: John Shearer/WireImage

"A lot of people are very curious why I'm a lesbian. Ladies and gentleman, the cast of Entourage!"
Emmy host Jane Lynch, giving a witty welcome to the cast of the testosterone-driven HBO show, at the awards ceremony

11 of 21
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Courtesy Leann Rimes

"[Those] are called abs not bones love."
LeAnn Rimes, correcting a Twitter follower who criticized her lean frame in a bikini-clad photo

12 of 21
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Mark Large/Getty; Inset: Todd Williamson/WireImage

"I didn't meet them. I was shoved out of the way by Jennifer Lopez. Uh oh, I shouldn't have said that."
Mary Louise Parker, on missing the chance encounter of a lifetime with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge at the BAFTA gala, to PEOPLE

13 of 21
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Jen Lowery/Startraks; Inset: Jason Merritt/Getty

"In Britain, they're like, 'How are you friends with Jay-Z?' It's almost like they're jealous. It's the same with my wife: 'How the f--- did you manage to do that?' And my answer is: 'I have no idea.'"
Gwyneth Paltrow's husband and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, to Pitchfork

14 of 21
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Michael Caulfield/WireImage; Inset: Kevin Winter/Getty

"I'm not gonna drop the F-bomb like she did. I've done that plenty before."
The Fighter's Christian Bale, referencing foul-mouthed costar Melissa Leo's Oscar acceptance speech along with his own infamous rant, while accepting the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor

15 of 21
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Kevin Mazur/WireImage

"Cool it, honeybadgers. We're just friends."
Olivia Wilde, squashing reports about a budding romance with longtime pal Justin Timberlake, on Twitter

16 of 21
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Getty; Inset: Leon Neal/AFP/Getty

"'You better get busy because when we were your age we were selling out concerts.'"
Michael Jackson's brother Jackie, egging on the late pop star's children, who are interested in joining the family biz, to PEOPLE

17 of 21
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Fame

"AARP's Sexiest Man Alive."
– PEOPLE's two-time Sexiest Man Alive George Clooney, adjusting his title after turning 50 this May, at the Venice Film Festival

18 of 21
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Jason Binn/WireImage

"Baby, by the time you have kids and they're in school, no one will care about you."
– Kris Humphries, fighting like an old married couple with Kim Kardashian before the end of their 72-day marriage, on Kourtney and Kim Take New York

19 of 21
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Hulton Archive/Getty

"[I] even gave her my husband for goodness sakes! What a good friend can you be!"
– Hollywood veteran Debbie Reynolds, joking about her friendship with one-time rival and good friend, the late Elizabeth Taylor, to Access Hollywood

20 of 21
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Gregg DeGuire/PictureGroup

"It's a hairpiece."
Justin Bieber, making fun of his own mane, on The Late Show with David Letterman

21 of 21
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Inset: Kevork Djansezian/Getty

"The fact is, I am a troll."
Jon Cryer, taking former Two and a Half Men costar Charlie Sheen's name-calling in stride, on Conan

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