10 Best Celeb Quotes This Week

"ABC put the fear of God into me."
– Dancing with the Stars' first transgender contestant Chaz Bono, on having to keep his new gig a secret – even from mom Cher, to PEOPLE

"He's willing to do anything for a joke. Plus, he hired a massage therapist for the entire crew."
– Two and a Half Men's Jon Cryer, on why his new costar Ashton Kutcher rocks, to EW.com

"Like any good, closeted lesbian in the seventies, I developed a raging crush on Ron Howard from Happy Days."
– Emmy host Jane Lynch, in her new memoir Happy Accidents

"I was looking for the ladies' room."
– Ellen DeGeneres, surprising Taylor Swift onstage for a duet of "Our Song" during her Speak Now tour stop in Los Angeles

"My boobs were so swollen I went up a cup size – not bad!"
– Maggie Q, on the unexpected side effect of a stray bullet flying into her bra while filming a scene for Nikita, to PEOPLE

"I don't ever do it because if I do it just once, every single person will be like, 'Bite me! Bite me! Bite me!'"
– True Blood's vampire hunk Alexander Skarsgard, who, unlike costar Stephen Moyer, declines rabid fan requests, to BlackBook

"Call 9-1-2! It's 9-1-1 for rich people!"
– New York Yankees fan Alec Baldwin, sparring with Boston Red Sox buff John Krasinski in a New Era Caps commercial touting the Yankees-Red Sox series

"I did not want twins as a second go-around. I should have been much more cautious. I should have had … half sex?"
– Modern Family star Julie Bowen, who didn't plan on having her family multiply so quickly, to More

"Jogging puppystyle!"
– Mariah Carey, sharing the secret to her post-baby fitness – her five Jack Russell terriers, on Twitter

"I really think [Beyonce's] going to have a really cute baby – tan obviously."
– Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, dishing on this week's headlines, including Beyoncé's baby bump debut, in "The News According to Snooki" on cambio.com
Last Week's 10 Best Celeb Quotes >