10 Best Celeb Quotes This Week

Why Chaz Bono kept mom Cher in the DWTS closet, plus more from Mariah Carey, Snooki and other stars
By Christie Larusso
Updated September 01, 2011 03:05 PM

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Credit: Danny Moloshok/Landov

"ABC put the fear of God into me."
– Dancing with the Stars' first transgender contestant Chaz Bono, on having to keep his new gig a secret – even from mom Cher, to PEOPLE

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Credit: Adam Rose/CBS

"He's willing to do anything for a joke. Plus, he hired a massage therapist for the entire crew."
– Two and a Half Men's Jon Cryer, on why his new costar Ashton Kutcher rocks, to EW.com

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Credit: Mark Davis/PictureGroup; ABC

"Like any good, closeted lesbian in the seventies, I developed a raging crush on Ron Howard from Happy Days."
– Emmy host Jane Lynch, in her new memoir Happy Accidents

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Credit: Michael Rozman/Warner Bros

"I was looking for the ladies' room."
– Ellen DeGeneres, surprising Taylor Swift onstage for a duet of "Our Song" during her Speak Now tour stop in Los Angeles

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Credit: Jan Thijs/The CW

"My boobs were so swollen I went up a cup size – not bad!"
– Maggie Q, on the unexpected side effect of a stray bullet flying into her bra while filming a scene for Nikita, to PEOPLE

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Credit: Humberto Carreno/Startraks

"I don't ever do it because if I do it just once, every single person will be like, 'Bite me! Bite me! Bite me!'"
– True Blood's vampire hunk Alexander Skarsgard, who, unlike costar Stephen Moyer, declines rabid fan requests, to BlackBook

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"Call 9-1-2! It's 9-1-1 for rich people!"
– New York Yankees fan Alec Baldwin, sparring with Boston Red Sox buff John Krasinski in a New Era Caps commercial touting the Yankees-Red Sox series

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Credit: Tina Kaawaloa/INF

"I did not want twins as a second go-around. I should have been much more cautious. I should have had … half sex?"
– Modern Family star Julie Bowen, who didn't plan on having her family multiply so quickly, to More

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Credit: Courtesy Mariah Carey

"Jogging puppystyle!"
– Mariah Carey, sharing the secret to her post-baby fitness – her five Jack Russell terriers, on Twitter

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Credit: cambio.com; Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic

"I really think [Beyonce's] going to have a really cute baby – tan obviously."
– Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, dishing on this week's headlines, including Beyoncé's baby bump debut, in "The News According to Snooki" on cambio.com
Last Week's 10 Best Celeb Quotes >

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By Christie Larusso