The reality star unveiled her new look on the cover of Vanity Fair
Goodbye Bruce, Hello Caitlyn! Subscribe now for exclusive details on her new life and the emotional decision to reveal her true self, only in PEOPLE.
Jenner, 65, wears her hair in loose curls and poses in a white bustier corset in her first portrait since transitioning from male to female.
“If I was lying on my deathbed and I had kept this secret and never ever did anything about it, I would be lying there saying, ‘You just blew your entire life,’ ” she tells Vanity Fair.
Jenner – who says she has not undergone genital surgery – also reveals she had a panic attack after undergoing a facial feminization surgery for 10 hours March 15, thinking, “What did I just do? What did I just do to myself?”
In a video for the magazine, Jenner discusses why she’s sharing her story.
“I was probably at the [Olympic] games because I was running away from a lot of things. [I’m] very, very proud of the accomplishment,” she says. “I don’t want to diminish that accomplishment. The last few days of doing this shoot was about my life and who I am as a person.
“It’s not about the fanfare, it’s not about people cheering in the stadium, it’s not about going down the street and everybody giving you a ‘That a boy, Bruce’ pat on the back, okay? This is about your life. Bruce always had to tell a lie. He was always living that lie. Every day he always had a secret, from morning til night. Caitlyn doesn’t have any secrets. As soon as the Vanity Fair cover comes out, I’m free.”
Her son Burt, 36, tells Vanity Fair that he was taken aback when Jenner showed him her new chest after completing a breast augmentation, reminding Jenner, “Whoa, I’m still your son.”
“I have high hopes that Caitlyn is a better person than Bruce,” he says. “I’m very much looking forward to that.”
The Keeping Up with the Kardashians star has chronicled her journey with TV specials, first in a 20/20 interview with Diane Sawyer in April and later on the E! reality show.
Vanity Fair hits stands June 9.