"I'm having to pay for it for a really long time," she says of her meltdown
Credit: Courtesy MTV

Britney Spears says that since her breakdown, her life has been worse than a jail sentence – but that she’s slowly healing one day at a time.

“I have really good days, and then I have bad days,” the singer, 26, admits in a new fly-on-the wall, 90-minute documentary, Britney: For The Record, to air in the U.S. Nov. 30 on MTV and in the U.K. Dec. 1 on Sky1.

Struggling to gain control of her life again after her public meltdown earlier this year, she says candidly: “Even when you go to jail, y’know, there’s the time when you’re gonna get out. But in this situation, it’s never ending. It’s just like [the Bill Murray movie] Groundhog Day.”

She adds, “I’m having to pay for it for a really long time.”

Spears was hospitalized for mental evaluation in January, which resulted in her ex-husband, Kevin Federline, being granted sole custody of their sons, Preston and Jayden. Her father, Jamie Spears, also gained legal control over her affairs.

Not Being Heard

“If I wasn’t under the restraints that I’m under right now, I’d feel so liberated,” she says in the film, which follows the singer as she records and promotes her new album Circus. “When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear me, but they’re really not listening.”

A camera crew followed the singer for three months as she moved to pull her life back on track. “I wanted to make this film because I started to feel like I wasn’t being seen in the light that I wanted to be seen in,” Spears said. “This is an opportunity to set the record straight and talk about what I’ve been through and where I’m headed.”

Overall, she says, “I think I’ve learned my lesson now, and enough is enough.”

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