Is there anything more romantic?

By Alex Heigl
November 05, 2015 12:40 PM

Well, by now you’ve surely heard that Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani are in the beginnings of a relationship, and you’re surely as thrilled about it as I am.

And since the annals of American music are littered with great musical couples – like Ashford & Simpson, Tim McGraw and Faith Hill – I’m now imagining a world where Shelton and Stefani have any number of co-written hits together. I took the liberty of putting together a few of those for you.

A mashup of Stefani’s grammatically displeasing “What You Waiting For?” and Shelton’s “Who Are You When I’m Not Looking,” this song is the ultimate party jam about a woman who orders pizza on the down-low when her lover is asleep.

A mix of Shelton’s “Honey Bee” and Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl,” this hit-in-the-making will teach the entire world the proper way to spell “Honey” via a catchy chant.

If “Boys ‘Round Here” is about … boys, and “Rich Girl” is about … wanting to be rich, then this song must be a tender and tragicomic exploration of gender dynamics in a capitalist, Western society. I assume.

I have no idea what either of these songs (“Sure Be Cool If You Did,” Shelton; and “Luxurious,” Stefani) are actually about, but I assume the mashup would be about donning a full-length mink coat and strutting around the house in it.

Combining Shelton’s “Sangria” and Stefani’s “Used to Love You,” this song is obviously about drinking too much sangria and then swearing it off forever once your hangover hits the next day. We’ve all been there.

It’s about turning on the lights. Neon ones, specifically. Duh.

I dunno, it’s probably about sledding or something? Or wait, there’s rarely snow in early winter. Uh … apple-picking? Just getting really bundled up and going for a walk in the nice crisp air? Unclear.

It’s a rough time to be lonely. Because it’s so early in the morning, you see.

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